Week 3: Chapters 4 and 5 of Conflict Management Coaching: The CINERGY Model

We're delighted by the great questions and observations in the book discussion so far and look forward to another good week with you all. If you've just found the book discussion, welcome...dive on in!

This week brings us to a discussion of Chapters 4 (The CINERGY Conflict Coaching Model) and 5 (Conflict Management Coaching Skills). Here are some questions to get us started. And, as always, feel free to raise your own.

  1. Which of the intentions discussed in Chapter 4 do you think will be easy for you? Which ones might be a challenge and why?
  2. Are there times when you choose to depart from a specific model when mediating or coaching? If so, what are the circumstances and how do you decide?
  3. If there are coaching skills, like those discussed in Chapter 5, that you need or want to further develop, how do you think you'll go about doing so? What would help you?

Tammy

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Replies to This Discussion

The intentions are powerful ones.  I do not believe that any one intention is more difficult than another.  Practice is essential to master and to be comfortable with any skill.  Since I mediate weekly, I try different techniques that I learn from my mentors and colleagues.  Within the facilitative process that we use at the Wayne Mediation Center, Michigan, I view the CINERGY intentions as additional tools to enhance the process.  In this AM's mediation session, I found myself focusing on Clarifying the Goal for both disputants.  It helped to ask each person what they wanted to achieve as a result of the mediation session as opposed to appearing before the magistrate.

For question #2, sometimes my superior wants me to move quicker through the mediation process which makes me uncomfortable.  When I speed up the process, things do not go as smoothly.  The courts are very busy and the court officers oftentimes speed us up as well.  I think that the court wants to finish their session in the early PM.  I prefer to go at a comfortable pace so that we observe the process and allow the participants to reach a mutually acceptable solution without being rushed.

For the last question, I must say that I follow the advice of the true subject matter experts.  There are so many experts in the field that I narrow my choices to Bernie Mayer, Doug Rainey, Zena Zumeta, Cinnie and Tammy, and Ury and Fisher.  I include about 10 additional people whom I respect in Michigan, as well as the global blog leaders.  My need is to learn as much as possible in my chosen field.  I also mediate at the Washtenaw Dispute Resolution Center in Ann Arbor.  We hold brown bag lunches where I listen to speakers on subjects such as social justice, forgiveness and apologies, diversity.  The speakers are brilliant as are the mediators.  There are many retired doctors, lawyers, teachers and executives in our group.  I learn so much from other mediators.  In general, when I discover a new skill or technique, I absorb it and put it into practice.  I read as much as possible on the subject and try to apply the new learning in real life situations.

In summary, I am open to new skills and ways of doing things.  I like the CINERGY model and will use it as a reference book.  The same is true of the works of Bernie, Zena Zumeta, Tracey Allen, Ury, Fisher, Ed Sketch my business partner.  I also believe that I am coming into my own as a mediator.  I am mediating many cases, writing articles and speaking publicly.  I am developing my own style as a mediator and subject matter expert.  The key for me has been to jump into mediation with both feet.  I network and participate in the ACR and other organizations.  I have a passion for what I do and the people whom I try to help.

 

JCT

Hey there, John, thanks for commenting. It sounds like you're like a sponge with your ADR reading and learning!

I'd love to hear your thinking about how conflict coaching fits or might fit into your work.

Tammy



John C. Turley said:

In summary, I am open to new skills and ways of doing things.  I like the CINERGY model and will use it as a reference book.  The same is true of the works of Bernie, Zena Zumeta, Tracey Allen, Ury, Fisher, Ed Sketch my business partner.  I also believe that I am coming into my own as a mediator.  I am mediating many cases, writing articles and speaking publicly.  I am developing my own style as a mediator and subject matter expert.  The key for me has been to jump into mediation with both feet.  I network and participate in the ACR and other organizations.  I have a passion for what I do and the people whom I try to help.

 

JCT

Thank you John. What an honor to be included with  the esteemed thought leaders to whom you refer!

 

I echo Tammy's comments and look forward to hearing how you see conflict management coaching fits or may fit into your work.

 

Cinnie

 

Conflict coaching will probably become part of my repertoire as I mature, refine my interests, and learn more within our field.  In the near future, I see myself moving away from small claims cases, domestic disputes, personal protection orders, and probate and moving more into business consulting. These were my points of entry in our field.  I needed to mediate real life cases and gain as much experience as possible.  I am more interested in either mediating large, medium, and small business conflicts or consulting with companies on the subjects of collaboration and teamwork.  I believe that my niche will be in this area.  I am intrigued by the root causes of conflict and preventing disputes from arising rather than exclusively mediating cases.  This is rarefied air that I am breathing, but the needs are certainly present in the marketplace.  I'll find my way as I make my way through our diverse field.  Becoming an expert in some aspect of mediation is my goal.  I am narrowing the field and eliminating certain aspects of mediation that do not hold my long term interests.  While saying this, it is important to know the minimum about the broad field.

In addition to mediating as many cases as possible, I am securing more public speaking engagements and contributing to a number of State of Michigan volunteer committees.  My colleague and I will present a Creighton webinar in August to discuss the quantification of cost and time savings between ADR and litigation with the logical follow through of promoting conflict avoidance through collaboration.  I will present the same topic at the ACR Convention in New Orleans in September as a solo presenter.

The State of Michigan is broke as are many other states.  Michigan spends millions of dollars to litigate cases.  The governor supports mediation in principle over litigation.  The state litigants do not, and resist mediation at every turn.  My challenge is to prove the quantifiable savings in time and money per case when ADR is compared to actual litigation costs.

I am developing subject matter expertise in the insurance industry.  This is how I got started in mediation.  My wife was a subject matter expert in a real estate/insurance errors and omissions mediation case that involved mediators representing the insurance company.  I immediately jumped on board with Creighton once I realized the potential of the profession.

I held executive sales and marketing positions in the past where coaching and counseling of teams are critical to achieving business goals and strategic objectives.  Managing salespeople is different than coaching since the former places emphasis on hitting the numbers.  It is OK to coach and mentor as long as the numbers are met.  Coaching may include attaining sales targets;however, the biggest difference are the intentions.  The intentions are not necessarily tied to personal or business sales production or some other metric that defines success.  I view the intentions as milestones or points of clarification toward self-actualization as opposed to goals.  Too many people get fired for the wrong reasons in business.  

Coach?  Maybe.  I follow Bernie Mayer's assertions in Beyond Neutrality that people expect more from their mediators.  He explores the mediator roles of ally, strategist, organizer and coach.  I believe that these points are valid in private practice since I recognize their presence when I assume each role as the session progresses.  I value the CINERGY model since it has me thinking a great deal about becoming a better mediator or perhaps a coach.

JCT

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