Matthew J Starman's Posts - ADRhub - Creighton NCR2024-03-29T15:36:58ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarmanhttp://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2535138197?profile=RESIZE_48X48&width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1http://www.adrhub.com/profiles/blog/feed?user=26ymsllhhjoxj&xn_auth=noNew Years Resolutiontag:www.adrhub.com,2011-01-11:4905899:BlogPost:72262011-01-11T03:54:35.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
<p>After going through six family Christmas gatherings and a new years party with friends, I began to realize that I say the same thing...alot. Sometimes they are cliches while other sayings are my own. Even at work, every customer that leaves is left with a "have a good one." It seems that when I think about what I am saying, I can easily pick the words that show empathy and care. However, it is the times that are habitual that I easily slip back to the generic unconcerned conversation. My…</p>
<p>After going through six family Christmas gatherings and a new years party with friends, I began to realize that I say the same thing...alot. Sometimes they are cliches while other sayings are my own. Even at work, every customer that leaves is left with a "have a good one." It seems that when I think about what I am saying, I can easily pick the words that show empathy and care. However, it is the times that are habitual that I easily slip back to the generic unconcerned conversation. My goal is simple, I want to be able to have individualized concern for each person I have a conversation with. I want to keep eye contact, letting each person know I am talking to them because I want to talk to them, and not because I am trying to pass the time.</p>
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<p>So what do you do to monitor your conversational habits? Or do you have any other new years resolutions you would like to share?</p>
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<p>Here's to a great 2011, and improving our communication and mediation skills.</p>
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<p> </p>A look at UpToParents.orgtag:www.adrhub.com,2010-11-30:4905899:BlogPost:56632010-11-30T02:54:29.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
<img src="http://www.uptoparents.org/images/logo.png" style="float: left; width: 231px; height: 162px;"></img> For those of you that are unfamiliar with <a href="http://www.uptoparents.org/Default.aspx">UpToParents.org</a>, here is a great free tool available to parents and mediators. (<i>Thanks to <a href="http://www.mediate.com/articles/gryczanL2.cfm#bio" style="font-style: italic;">Linda Gryczan</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">for pointing this site out)</span></i> It is suggested that mediators have each parent go through the program before entering into a mediation<i>.</i> I feel…
<img style="float: left; width: 231px; height: 162px;" src="http://www.uptoparents.org/images/logo.png"/> For those of you that are unfamiliar with <a href="http://www.uptoparents.org/Default.aspx">UpToParents.org</a>, here is a great free tool available to parents and mediators. (<i>Thanks to <a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://www.mediate.com/articles/gryczanL2.cfm#bio">Linda Gryczan</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">for pointing this site out)</span></i> It is suggested that mediators have each parent go through the program before entering into a mediation<i>.</i> I feel this a great tool, and helps show parents the effect their problems and fights have on their children. While I have neither had children nor divorced, I ran through the program to get a look at what it those parents would experience. <br/><br/><br/>After entering a few items of information, the site has users go through ten sections, each of which has them check off commitments to their children. For example:<br/><br/>1.) We'll remember this is ____and ____'s one and only childhood.<br/>2.) We know that ____and ____'s one and only childhood is forming many of the gifts and problems they will carry into adulthood<br/>3.)Click <a target="_blank" href="http://www.uptoparents.org/files3/JonPages/ThoughtsOfChildren.html">HERE</a> to see some devastating thoughts of children caught in conflict.<br/><br/>Perhaps the best part of the site is the four exercise they have each parent complete. <br/><span style="font-weight: bold;">Exercise A</span> has each parent look at recent interactions with their counter part in the eyes of their children. After this, they have the parent suggest ways to improve these interactions. <br/><span style="font-weight: bold;">Exercise B</span> examines the way parents act when they are together with the children. They are asked to create a "Child Safety Zone" and sign an agreement to act courteous and respectful in the short time they are together<br/><span style="font-weight: bold;">Exercise C</span> looks at ways to reframe past memories of their significant other. They have each parents write down 10 good memories or compliments about their significant other in which they will share with their children later. They even say to call the other "mommy" or "daddy", and not "your daddy" or "your mommy"<br/><span style="font-weight: bold;">Exercise D</span> has each parent look to the future. How do they see their kid in 2, 5, 10 + years?<br/><br/> I like the way the program is set up. It immediately lets the parents know that this divorce isn't about the them, its about their kids. What they do now effects their children for the rest of their lives. They are able to reframe some of the thinking of divorce, and look at the future in a positive, cooperative light, rather than a competitive one. <br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><table class="commitment">
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<br/>A Blog on Bloggingtag:www.adrhub.com,2010-11-29:4905899:BlogPost:56392010-11-29T05:01:08.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
In the many discussions I had during the holiday, the fact that I have been blogging for ADRhub came up multiple times. Some were surprised, others thought it was cool. I did however get one unified reaction, "I could never do that." <br></br><br></br>I will admit, I was in their shoes not that long ago. Just ten short weeks ago I began to blog. I wondered (and sometimes still do), will anyone read my blogs? Will it even matter? Will I run out of stuff to talk about? After ten weeks I can tell you,…
In the many discussions I had during the holiday, the fact that I have been blogging for ADRhub came up multiple times. Some were surprised, others thought it was cool. I did however get one unified reaction, "I could never do that." <br/><br/>I will admit, I was in their shoes not that long ago. Just ten short weeks ago I began to blog. I wondered (and sometimes still do), will anyone read my blogs? Will it even matter? Will I run out of stuff to talk about? After ten weeks I can tell you, many of those worries fall to the wayside. <br/><br/>As 2010 comes to an end, and many of you here are looking for a new years resolution, why not try blogging? Not only do you get to hone your writing skills, but you can also talk about issues that are interesting to you. I can guarantee that your post will be well received by this community. Before you know it, you will be a blogging star at ADRHub. <br/><br/>So now that you are inspired to share your thoughts with the ADR world, you may be asking yourself, where do I start? Here are a few tips for any blogging newbies that helped me start<br/>1.) Write about issues that you care about. Just like everything else, it is easier to sound interesting about things you care about<br/>2.) Find ways to get inspired. I write down ideas throughout the week to make sure I'm not staring at a blank screen come Sunday night. I also like to go through the news and find articles that can stir up discussion<br/>3.) Don't try to write anything life changing, just something that is thought provoking. <br/>4.) Rinse and Repeat<br/><br/><br/>So please, don't let this post go in vein. I challenge you to try it and support those who do. Who knows, it may help you get that gift you wanted from Santa!<br/>Member Spotlighttag:www.adrhub.com,2010-11-22:4905899:BlogPost:55612010-11-22T13:00:00.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
One of the primary strengths of ADRhub.com is the network of members from such <img src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2544770004?profile=original" style="float: right; width: 144px; height: 216px;"></img> diverse backgrounds. ADRhub.com now includes academics, practitioners, scholars, professionals, students, 'newbies,' and those interested in getting involved in Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR). The network has experienced rapid growth in a short period of time--a testament to the high level of interest in ADR, as well as a strong desire to collaborate and learn from other members.<br></br><br></br>To…
One of the primary strengths of ADRhub.com is the network of members from such <img style="float: right; width: 144px; height: 216px;" src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2544770004?profile=original"/>diverse backgrounds. ADRhub.com now includes academics, practitioners, scholars, professionals, students, 'newbies,' and those interested in getting involved in Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR). The network has experienced rapid growth in a short period of time--a testament to the high level of interest in ADR, as well as a strong desire to collaborate and learn from other members.<br/><br/>To continue
strengthening the network and encouraging member engagement, we will take time each week to introduce and interview a member from our growing<br/>
network, focusing on their interest and experience in the field of ADR. This week, our member spotlight is on <a href="http://adrhub.com/profile/LynseeSwisher?xg_source=profiles_memberList">Lynsee Swisher</a><br/><br/>Lynsee, a recent graduate of Creighton's Werner Institute, is an ADR professional with the Dispute Resolution Center of Kitsap County, in Washington. She is involved with ADR training, consulting, conflict coaching, as well as an advocate for family with autism. <br/><br/><hr style="width: 100%; height: 2px;"/><br/>Recently, I had the chance to ask her a few questions about ADR. Here is what she had to say.<br/><br/><p><span style="font-weight: bold;">Matt</span>: What brought you to ADR?<br/><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lynsee</span>: I can not specify one exact event or direction that led me to this field. Throughout my professional life before ADR, I was in the music, fashion, and real estate industry. These fields are riddled with conflict. So often there would be contract breaches, copy right infringements, or land use issues, and those cases <br/> would land in a long litigation process, often leading to no satisfaction by either parties. However, I started seeing a pattern of people having some sort of common ground and I always felt if there was just another way, a better way. I had a strong desire to bring people together, collaborate, and help create dialogue.</p>
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<p>Before my education, I knew nothing about the ADR world. At different times, I may of heard mention some of the processes but I lived in a world filled with litigation every time I turned around. I always knew that I wanted to continue my education and thought about law school. However, I just did not feel is the right fit for me. Then one day while visiting Omaha, I read an article in the local paper about the Werner Institute. As I was reading, I knew that this was something I wanted to pursue, that the program seemed to be a perfect fit. Due in part to my education and the amazing people working in ADR, I entered into a field that I found myself so passionate about. <br/></p>
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<p><span style="font-weight: bold;">Matt</span>: What do you like about the field? <br/></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lynsee</span>: The idea of working in collaboration, bringing people together, and empowering them to help be in control of their own conflict and outcomes. The ADR field has shown me the value of transparency, being patient, understanding ourselves and others. It also has an emphasis on compassion, trust, and the idea of building better relationships that I believe is truly about who I am as a person.<br/> <br/>
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<p><span style="font-weight: bold;">Matt</span>: What do you hope to do with ADR?<br/><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lynsee</span>: I would like to use ADR to make a difference in our world. My focus today is in my local community but as I grow in skill, knowledge, and experience, I would like to broaden it to national and international levels. My heart is in teaching and I hope that in time I can do more training and training development.</p>
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Matt</span>: Where do you see ADR in 10 years?<br/><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lynsee</span>: Continued
steady Growth. I hope that as a field we continue to evolve and push ourselves to grow in wonderful ways . I also hope for growth in recognition from others, outside our field. That we as a field will <br/>
have created great awareness and have done a successful job educating others about our industry, that we are looked upon as a first stop in resolving conflict and empowering others.<br/>The Start of my Journeytag:www.adrhub.com,2010-11-19:4905899:BlogPost:55332010-11-19T04:43:30.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
<p>As I near the end of my practicum, one of my many worries is that I <img src="http://behindthelens.org/pblog/images/20081013145851_mystic_path.jpg" style="float: right; width: 225px; height: 149px;"></img> won’t be able to find a job in mediation. After all, things are stacked up against me in a way. Being 24 years old, without a law degree, very little mediation experience, I feel that I am a little behind the eight ball. As I search for hints and suggestions to get in field, I am bombarded with this lack luster advice, “Don’t quit your day job.” You mean to tell me after I have experienced the power of mediation,…</p>
<p>As I near the end of my practicum, one of my many worries is that I <img style="float: right; width: 225px; height: 149px;" src="http://behindthelens.org/pblog/images/20081013145851_mystic_path.jpg"/>won’t be able to find a job in mediation. After all, things are stacked up against me in a way. Being 24 years old, without a law degree, very little mediation experience, I feel that I am a little behind the eight ball. As I search for hints and suggestions to get in field, I am bombarded with this lack luster advice, “Don’t quit your day job.” You mean to tell me after I have experienced the power of mediation, and chomping at the bit to get out and bring the power to the people I won’t have a line of people waiting for me to change their life? It was quite a sobering feeling, one I’m sure many of you have felt.</p>
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<p>With the amount of people looking for advice, it seems many people are in the same spot. The call to mediate is a noble one. I can see why it is attractive to many people. Lets face it, everyone here wants it to be the guy (or girl) that their friends turn to for help, and help solve their problems. This could be a reason mediation has not taken off like many would like. With the influx of trainees, many don’t take the next step, or don’t enter into a mediation whole-heartedly. Others may not monitor the performance and think of ways to improve. When a mediocre product is put out it shows, and unfortunately it negatively effects the entire field. <br/></p>
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<p>Thankfully the training I have received in the last year and a half has already reaped some benefits. Once graduation comes around in December, I will be on a hunt to get into the business. (Any pointers or tips will greatly be appreciated) I am excited to gain experience, and find my place in the field. One of the greatest part of ADR is that it not limited to mediations, but many other fields. There are many unfulfilled niches ready to be served. This is where my journey is taking me.</p>
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<p>Feel free to reply with any stories about your start into mediation<br/></p>Is required mediation/arbitration good for the future of ADR?tag:www.adrhub.com,2010-11-11:4905899:BlogPost:49682010-11-11T04:02:07.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
<p>As I look at the current state of ADR, I can't help but think about some of the factors that have helped it get to this point. Overflowing dockets in the courts, new legislation, and contractual requirements have all helped fill the schedules of mediators around the world. Each has helped get ADR from crawling to walking. Now I ask myself, is required mediation good for the long term success of mediation.</p>
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<p><img align="right" height="142" src="http://coachaljohnson.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/draft_lens1557857module52703242photo_1250731959success.jpg" style="margin: 4px 0px; display: inline; float: right;" width="160"></img></p>
<p>Certainly there some perks to these…</p>
<p>As I look at the current state of ADR, I can't help but think about some of the factors that have helped it get to this point. Overflowing dockets in the courts, new legislation, and contractual requirements have all helped fill the schedules of mediators around the world. Each has helped get ADR from crawling to walking. Now I ask myself, is required mediation good for the long term success of mediation.</p>
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<p>Certainly there some perks to these required services. Many mediators get their feet wet with small claims courts ordered to mediation. It gives ADR some sort of stability and legitimacy and in many ways, provides a new source of disputants that may not have considered ADR otherwise. This may be a chance to ?convert? some non-believers. This may also be a source of losing participants. Parties may despise a program they are required to be at, especially if one doesn't believe they should be there. Currently, the Supreme Court is looking at a case debating the legalities of contractual arbitration (contracts that require disputes to be heard under an arbitrator and not a class action suit); a <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/09/AR2010110906604.html">case</a> that will undoubtedly effect consumer's rights and the amount of work available to ADR professionals. I can?t help but think that disputants forced to fight credit card charges in an arbitration would get a dirty taste in their mouth if they deemed the process unfair.</p>
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<p>I don't have a definite answer to this question. I can only say that using this help should be used with caution. Like any business, its bad to depend on business that could be taken away without warning. The courts could easily strike down any legislation that requires an ADR activity. I believe the best thing ADR can do is wean itself off the help and promote itself as a beneficial voluntary process that can help before it becomes required. (I think this will also lead to more success within the mediation as well)</p>
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<p>So what do you think? Should this be something to worry about or am I just making a fuss over nothing?</p>"This is not a time for compromise"....or is it?tag:www.adrhub.com,2010-11-03:4905899:BlogPost:45362010-11-03T02:17:36.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
For those of you who read my blogs (I think I'm up to 5 including my wife and mom) you may remember my blog about politics earlier. While I feel a little uncomfortable talking about politics, I feel compelled to talk about issues that relate to ADR. So I will write another.<br></br><br></br>As the poll results were streaming in, I was reminded of a phrase I read by a representative from Ohio. "This is not a time for compromise." So I began to think to myself, 'why is compromise such a bad thing?' It…
For those of you who read my blogs (I think I'm up to 5 including my wife and mom) you may remember my blog about politics earlier. While I feel a little uncomfortable talking about politics, I feel compelled to talk about issues that relate to ADR. So I will write another.<br/><br/>As the poll results were streaming in, I was reminded of a phrase I read by a representative from Ohio. "This is not a time for compromise." So I began to think to myself, 'why is compromise such a bad thing?' It seems compromise has become something of a dirty word, especially for those up for re-election. Democrats that work with Republicans are seen as soft and republicans that work with democrats are seen as traitors. While we may disagree on many things, one thing we should agree on is that we need to get through the problems together. I do not envy any politician. This is a civil service that comes with heavy pressure. I cannot understand economics,education, or war all by myself, and I do not expect my politicians to as well. For this reason, they MUST work together, create dialogue, and find the best solutions for their country. The United States is at an interesting place in history, and what they do will forever shape the direction of the country. I know the hope word was overused last campaign so let me use another word. I <span style="font-style: italic;">aspire</span> for a congress that works together to help our country prosper, and to give this country a good example on how to resolve issues. <br/><br/>Let me know what you think. I am open to any conversation.<br/>Hope you all voted!<p style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 372px; height: 330px;" src="http://virgoblue.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/your_vote_counts_button_3.jpg"/></p>ODR and cyberbullyingtag:www.adrhub.com,2010-10-28:4905899:BlogPost:41612010-10-28T01:00:00.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
As a student of ADR, I am constantly looking for the next opportunity. How else can we bring the message to the people? Every week, when I sit down to write this blog, I recall things that occurred throughout the week, any current events to conjure up ideas. In the spirit of cyberweek I thought it would be appropriate to discuss my thoughts on cyberbullying, and ADR's opportunity to help such a travesty. <br></br><br></br>As I look back at my childhood, I can't really remember if I was ever bullied…
As a student of ADR, I am constantly looking for the next opportunity. How else can we bring the message to the people? Every week, when I sit down to write this blog, I recall things that occurred throughout the week, any current events to conjure up ideas. In the spirit of cyberweek I thought it would be appropriate to discuss my thoughts on cyberbullying, and ADR's opportunity to help such a travesty. <br/><br/>As I look back at my childhood, I can't really remember if I was ever bullied (which probably means I wasn't). Sure, I was made fun of. Any boy with a "man" at the end of there last name was e<img style="float: right; width: 170px; height: 176px;" src="http://www.garytaxali.com/works/newwork/images/bully.jpg"/>asily switch to "woman." Other than that, I held my own with a little help of wrestling and football practice. Unfortunately, there were others that were bullied at my school. To make matters worse, I don't think the teachers knew much about some of these problems. Luckily, I grew up when phones were still on the wall, and internet was just becoming a popular thing. Today, kids that a bullied have less of a chance to escape the harassment when they leave school. Now, kids have to face text messages, facebook, email, and all the other things I don't even know about. According to ISafe.com, nearly half all kids polled (42%) have been bullied over the internet. We could debate a child's need for each of these things, but lets face it, online communication is a part of everyone's life.Even kids that do no have these accounts can still be targeted for harassment. <br/><br/>So what can ADR do to help stop this? or at the very least, what can we do to help the kids that have been bullied. Since this is Cyberweek, I imagine ODR can offer a lot to these kids. Maybe this is already in place somewhere, but here are few aspects of a program that can help.<br/><br/>-Students that feel they are being bullied are allowed to communicate with their schools counselor through email, phone, or f2f at school. The Counselor will work much like a ombudsman, providing the student with the correct resources to stop the problem. From there, the counselor can inform the teachers of such problems so they can keep an eye out for it. The counselor and the student can also decide on a coarse of action, whether to confront the other student. While teachers may not be able to monitor harrasment that occurs after school, they will certainly be able to help after hours. I understand this is a rather simple view of this problem, I do feel ODR can help this problem, be it a platform for discovery or a way of resolution. <br/><br/>What do you think? What else can we do to help these kids out?<br/><br/><br/>For more information on Cyberbullying visit isafe.org<br/>Door to Door Salesmantag:www.adrhub.com,2010-10-25:4905899:BlogPost:35262010-10-25T02:43:39.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
It happens to the best of us. At the most inopportune time, you hear a knock at<br></br>yo<img src="http://ts3.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=275754321882&id=9c94eca34f0359625f8bdb44d3afda2e&index=ch1" style="float: right;"></img> ur door, or a ring from your phone. A salesman. In my case last Friday night, it was a Kirby Vacuum Salesman. With a little smooth talk and a promise for a free room cleaning I let him in. What the heck, I was going to be cleaning for company coming soon anyway so I might as well let someone else do it right? Being a salesman myself I also like to hear a different sales pitch every so often. As he…
It happens to the best of us. At the most inopportune time, you hear a knock at<br/>yo<img style="float: right;" src="http://ts3.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=275754321882&id=9c94eca34f0359625f8bdb44d3afda2e&index=ch1"/>ur door, or a ring from your phone. A salesman. In my case last Friday night, it was a Kirby Vacuum Salesman. With a little smooth talk and a promise for a free room cleaning I let him in. What the heck, I was going to be cleaning for company coming soon anyway so I might as well let someone else do it right? Being a salesman myself I also like to hear a different sales pitch every so often. As he begins his pitch, I can pick apart every tactic: appeal to the one's safety, create demand, remove comparisons by raising the vacuum into a category of its own, calling the boss to approve a price etc... The guy was good, but when it comes down to it, no vacuum in the world is worth $1200. <br/><br/>So why talk about this in an ADR website you ask? This story reminded me of the importance of being about to communicate your interests in a negotiation or mediation to appreciate the results of said negotiation or mediation. The more the salesman began to talk, the more I began to feel that his opinions or facts were being forced upon me. The simple fact is, he didn't want me to have a chance to think if I really needed this vacuum, or if I would have a chance to to ask about the warranty process, the company history, the cost of replacement bags and so on. If one bought this vacuum, I would think that they would be feeling a little buyers remorse. <br/><br/>So the next time one is a mediation or negotiation remember:<br/> Am I being forceful and pushing my definitions on the other parties? Are they being pushed on me?<br/> Am I going to feel good about this tomorrow morning? (A good theory to live by in any situation)<br/> Are my interests being heard?<br/> <br/>While this product may be worth it in the long run (after all he said it was the last one I would ever have to buy) and the price was dropped to an <span style="font-style: italic;">unbelievable</span> $850, I decided to pass this time. The sales call was worth it for me in the end. I did get my stairs cleaned, and a reassurance that interest based negotiation and mediation is much more fair and safe. Can't blame the guy for trying though. <br/><br/><br/> <br/>Bringing mediation to the Mainstreamtag:www.adrhub.com,2010-10-18:4905899:BlogPost:32612010-10-18T03:25:23.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
<img src="http://www.tvblanket.com/image/wedding_crashers_1.JPG" style="float: right; width: 315px; height: 209px;"></img> With the advantages of mediation and other ADR processes, I often wonder why it is not more popular. I think it would be fair to say that most people know about mediation through tabloids and movies. When I explain to people what I am studying, I am often asked if its like the beginning of the movie <span style="font-style: italic;">Wedding Crashers</span>. In fact, just this week I had three friends say they thought of me after watching a parenting plan mediation take place on MTV's…
<img style="float: right; width: 315px; height: 209px;" src="http://www.tvblanket.com/image/wedding_crashers_1.JPG"/>With the advantages of mediation and other ADR processes, I often wonder why it is not more popular. I think it would be fair to say that most people know about mediation through tabloids and movies. When I explain to people what I am studying, I am often asked if its like the beginning of the movie <span style="font-style: italic;">Wedding Crashers</span>. In fact, just this week I had three friends say they thought of me after watching a parenting plan mediation take place on MTV's <span style="font-style: italic;">Teen Mom.</span> When you search for mediation on any news site, many of results come from two places, extremely difficult situations that don't seem to end like conflict in the middle east, or celebrities fighting. So how can we bring this to the commoner? Certainly it doesn't hurt to have mediations on the television, especially if it brings successful results. Perhaps one of the advantages of mediation, keeping the event and results private, is also its disadvantage. Even when the results are positive, there is a good chance that the benefits will not be seen by outsiders. Because of that, we cannot depend on word of mouth to advance of popularity of mediation. So here are some of my thoughts on how to improve this problem. <br/><br/>1.) Get an expert on TV, while it seems crazy, getting a mediator on Oprah would be a great start. <br/> -Solving problems is already an intriguing source of entertainment. I don't mean to make light of situations handled by mediation, but a show or expert could raise the curtain on some of the mystery behind mediation. Everyone knows what it is like in court because of court shows. In the same way, people could also get to know mediation through television.<br/><br/>2.) On issues that do not involve private material, ask for permission to release results, or change the names and make case studies. In the best cases, have each party speak about the process and the results. Once again, I think removing some of the fear and mystique of mediation would help tremendously. <br/><br/>3.) One landmark agreement. <br/> -While I cannot create this event, One thing that would help is a case that people can point that that was very successful that everyone knows about. Certainly there are possibilities, the middle east conflict, Afghanistan, solve the BCS dilemma in college football...<br/><br/>What are your thoughts? What else can be done to help mediation become mainstream? <br/><br/>Politics and ADRtag:www.adrhub.com,2010-10-07:4905899:BlogPost:29902010-10-07T02:30:00.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
As the sang goes, never discuss politics or religion. Today, I am going to break that rule. One cannot ignore the amount of political propaganda going on. Political ideologies are spewed out for all to hear in rallies hoping to reach the all important undecided vote. I often find myself fighting a battle on the inside on which side to listen to and support. Each side often has some valid points, but some ideas make me cringe a bit. I want everyone to have a fair shake at opportunities, but why…
As the sang goes, never discuss politics or religion. Today, I am going to break that rule. One cannot ignore the amount of political propaganda going on. Political ideologies are spewed out for all to hear in rallies hoping to reach the all important undecided vote. I often find myself fighting a battle on the inside on which side to listen to and support. Each side often has some valid points, but some ideas make me cringe a bit. I want everyone to have a fair shake at opportunities, but why should have to pay for others? I respect life but who am I to force my beliefs on others? I went back and forth on writing this blog, being that I was so undecided. In a way it seems to parallel the thoughts of our nation now. It is saddening to see the amount of hatred and distrust people have for the leaders of our country, or for the other side. This type of conflict can only hinder our performance in collaboration. After all, I truly believe that the majority of US citizens want the same thing, a safe country, a stable economy, and a great future for our kids. I would be hard pressed to find someone that doesn't share this ideals. <br/><br/>With that, I wanted to get some ideas about what we as ADR professionals can do to help the political system out. Perhaps this is the time to use our influence as a neutral. Allow each side to express their story much like a mediation. While this may be incredibly tricky, it may help each side show their platform without being smeared by the other. As the system goes now, I remember more of what the republicans say about the democrats more than what the democrats say about themselves, and visa versa.<br/><br/>Outside of the neutral position, one could be an advocate for an idea, a party, or a candidate. We could coach current members on how to handle conflict within state and national congress. Each side always complains the other just gets in the way, so if we could coach them on how to be more collaborative, it would increase the chances of having a productive session. Its a lofty idea, maybe even a dream, but if we don't try it really won't work.<br/><br/>These are just a few ideas to start off with. What other ideas do you have that could help the political system?<br/><p style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/4/18/128845286363102332.jpg"/></p>Why Mediation?tag:www.adrhub.com,2010-09-29:4905899:BlogPost:28092010-09-29T02:11:21.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
<font size="3">Why get into Mediation? Most of you reading this have probably asked yourself this at least once. If your experience was similar to mine, you also had to answer questions like "what is mediation? So your like a judge or something? What can you do with that?" Nearly two years ago, I had to ask myself these questions. I knew a little about mediation through negotiation<img src="http://individual.utoronto.ca/xander/images/ThinkingMan_Rodin_328x284.jpg" style="float: right; width: 298px; height: 259px;"></img> and law classes I took in undergrad. However, I could barely answer the same questions my family and…</font>
<font size="3">Why get into Mediation? Most of you reading this have probably asked yourself this at least once. If your experience was similar to mine, you also had to answer questions like "what is mediation? So your like a judge or something? What can you do with that?" Nearly two years ago, I had to ask myself these questions. I knew a little about mediation through negotiation<img style="float: right; width: 298px; height: 259px;" src="http://individual.utoronto.ca/xander/images/ThinkingMan_Rodin_328x284.jpg"/> and law classes I took in undergrad. However, I could barely answer the same questions my family and friends asked. Now that I am nearing the end of my formal classes, I am able to pinpoint what attracted me to mediation. <br/><br/> First of all, I would like to think that there is a bit of a "higher calling" with mediation. While I am somewhat religious I am not trying to invoke religious overtones. I simply think that mediation has a way to help and empower some that would otherwise be left behind. I have a lot of satisfaction from that fact. While people today debate whether Jesus was a Democrat or Republican, I say he has aspects of a mediator. In addition, I wanted more</font> <font size="3">for my life than sales. I felt that I was stuck in the mud with no direction. I would like to think that ADR has really provided a path for the rest of my life.<br/><br/> Second, I really like the aspect of fairness in mediation. It seems that the world if full of biases and unfair treatment. The rich get richer, celebrities only serve one day of a 30 day sentence, and the Kansas City Royals have been at the bottom of baseball for more than a decade. <br/><br/></font> <font size="3">Lastly, I believe that there is an exciting future for Mediation and the field of ADR. It it my hope that the field grows in the mainstream, and I am there with it. <br/><br/></font><font size="3">So whats your story? What brought you to mediation?</font> <br/>My Introduction to ADRHubtag:www.adrhub.com,2010-09-22:4905899:BlogPost:27372010-09-22T01:55:26.000ZMatthew J Starmanhttp://www.adrhub.com/profile/MatthewJStarman
Hello members of ADRhub, and others who have wondered their way onto to this Blog.<br></br><br></br>I wanted to take the opportunity to introduce myself and talk about a few things. My name is Matt Starman and I am a soon-to-be graduate of the Werner Institute at Creighton University. Part of practicum entails that I contribute to this site on a regular basis. It is my hope that my blogs and posts are entertaining and at the very least thought provoking. This is my first blog, not just on this site but…
Hello members of ADRhub, and others who have wondered their way onto to this Blog.<br/><br/>I wanted to take the opportunity to introduce myself and talk about a few things. My name is Matt Starman and I am a soon-to-be graduate of the Werner Institute at Creighton University. Part of practicum entails that I contribute to this site on a regular basis. It is my hope that my blogs and posts are entertaining and at the very least thought provoking. This is my first blog, not just on this site but on any site. If anyone has tips I will gladly accept any that are thrown my way. <br/><br/>And now a little bit about myself...<br/>I work for Fastenal as an outside salesman selling industrial supplies<br/>I love music, and was in a band for about 5 years before we broke up (by broke up I mean got real jobs and graduated college, sorta like the summer of 69)<br/>I have been married for a little more than two years to my high school sweet heart who teaches high school seniors, even though she is often <br/><br/>Many of the life examples I bring into my blogs will undoubtedly come from one of these three arenas. Hopefully, as my experience in conflict resolution grows, I will be able to bring in much more than that. <br/><br/>And with this, I begin my blogging career. Stay tuned for much more interesting and exciting posts!<br/><br/>-Matt<br/>