All Blog Posts Tagged 'conflict' (401)

The Silent Treatment

One of the ways that some people manage conflict is by using the ‘silent treatment’. This expression refers to “Maintenance of aloof silence toward another as an expression of one’s anger or disapproval”. The same source says this phrase is “a deliberate discourteous act”.

There may be a number of reasons for using the silent treatment – and some intentions may be like those for letting the other person…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on May 22, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Unbearable Conflict Requires Courageous Conversation

Eric Galton

Many people have encountered great challenges and unbearable pain from disputes as a result of strongly held values, belief systems and personal principles. And yet, people have the courage and ability to break through these barriers and create a common bridge. Eric Galton, renowned mediator, is a catalyst for these breakthroughs providing people with a safe…

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Added by Patricia M Porter on May 20, 2014 at 11:48pm — No Comments

Conflict transformation skills training modules

I am interested to get input, guidance and support to provide/develop  conflict transformation skills training modules for middle and high students in Ontario Canada.

I plan to adapt these trainings for the high school and college students in the Swat Valley of Pakistan latter in partnership with facilitators and teachers.

I appreciate any input, guidance and will be pleased to continue this conversation. Best wishes Jahan Zeb Email jahanzebca@gmail.com Twitter…

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Added by Jahan Zeb on May 20, 2014 at 12:12pm — 1 Comment

"I Wish I Hadn't Said That"

There are times in our interpersonal conflicts that – after the fact – we state things like, “I wish I hadn’t said that”. This is along the lines of “If I had it to do over”. It is often a statement made when we acknowledge that something we said triggered off a reaction in the other person that served no purpose except maybe to escalate the dispute. When we are…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on May 15, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Stew in Your Own Juices

The other day a colleague (I’ll call her Janet) told me she and a co-worker (I’ll call him David) had a heated disagreement about a work matter. Janet went on to say that David called her a few hours after and left a contrite message asking to have a coffee and work things out. She then told me she decided not to reply for a few days to let David “stew in his own juices” for a while. When I asked what she means by that, Janet answered, “I thought I’d just let him feel badly a little longer…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on May 8, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

The Gratitude Opportunity: Expressing Gratitude at the Best and Worst of Times

Ross Brinkert Gratitude communication involves expressing appreciation or thanks to others. Hear powerful, real-life stories of individuals who shared moments of gratitude in their work lives. Take away tips to guide you in your own life, whether handling a difficult situation or simply savoring a situation that's already amazing.

Dr. Ross Brinkert is an associate professor of…

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Added by Patricia M Porter on May 6, 2014 at 10:25pm — No Comments

Deconstructing the Use of Power in Mediation

Power, in the field of conflict resolution, is defined as the ability to bring about a preferred outcome. Mediation practitioners further differentiate between the use of power to impose an outcome and the use of power to bring out the conflict parties’ preferred outcome...Read more

Added by Nathalie Al-Zyoud on May 6, 2014 at 11:44am — No Comments

Assumptions - Are They Necessary?

On a recent post on the Conflict Coaching Guild on LinkedIn I posed the following question:

“Generally-speaking, a common reaction - when we are provoked by something another person says or does (or doesn't say or do) - is to make assumptions about their motive, character, etc.

This tendency often heightens in intensity and malevolence if the perceived offense is repeated and our emotional reaction increases.

However, why do you suppose we do not check…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on May 1, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Secret Keeping

I have spent most of my adult life working with people that are in a crisis of some kind. They find their way to me to resolve conflict, internal or external. And in all that time of working with people in this way, I have found that there is one thing that is more toxic to the system than anything else: keeping secrets.

I think often of this time, years ago, when I was invited to a Dim Sum brunch by my brother-in-law with his Chinese guru. In attendance were several other students of…

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Added by Elizabeth Clemants on April 30, 2014 at 11:50am — No Comments

Negotiation and ADR Teachers - Resource Share

At the ABA's DR conference in Miami, an initiative that had started the previous year turned into a tradition: Several dozen teachers offered each other use of their teaching materials to enhance each others' classrooms. It was such a wonderful environment to be in, and offered a great packet of take-aways for teachers. Below, is a write up of the materials shared, complete with links you can use to access them if these were available. Also see the…

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Added by Noam Ebner on April 29, 2014 at 2:30pm — No Comments

Reason or Excuse?

I have been thinking about when I hear someone explaining their rationale for saying or doing something that has upset or provoked me or another person. I realize that at times it sounds like an excuse and at other times it sounds like a reason. You may ask what difference does it make?

Providing reasons or excuses in our conflict interactions often seem to arise during the course of a dispute or after it is over. At these times, we - or the other person - may give a reason or excuse…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on April 17, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

How community-based mediation in immigrant, ethno-cultural, and faith community groups is done to transform conflict?

How community-based mediation in immigrant, ethno-cultural, and faith community groups is done to transform conflict?

Added by Jahan Zeb on April 16, 2014 at 9:54am — No Comments

If I had it to do over...

I have heard the statement “If I had it to do over …” in many contexts, including about choices of partners, careers, schooling, places to live, and so on. This week’s blog is about how this preamble arises in some interpersonal conflicts - in the aftermath.

There are a number of reasons that, in retrospect, we may speak about a situation in terms of what we ought to have done differently. Such statements may be said with regrets, disappointment in ourselves, and even a sense of…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on April 10, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Teaching Negotiation - Online!

As more and more teachers in the area of negotiation and dispute resolution consider taking their courses (or, parts of them) online, I’ve received many queries of the “How do you get started?” variety. And, I’m not the only one fielding these questions. I'd like to share a resource, addressing these questions.…

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Added by Noam Ebner on April 8, 2014 at 9:00am — No Comments

Justify or Just-Iffy?

The other day a friend – I’ll call her Jane – was telling me about an ongoing dispute she was having with a co-worker. She complained about the way her colleague Ted acts, looks, talks, and just about everything else. Clearly, their interactions had deteriorated over time and their current communications are mostly through others, i.e. “Tell Ted that I need the report by 3:00” and Ted’s response, “Tell her she’ll get it when I’m finished it”.

Through the course of conveying this…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on April 3, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Educating the Community for 5 Years and Counting!

Pattie2a-web(Dec2012) zena Zumeta StephenKotev2

Join Founding Host Pattie Porter and Hosts Zena Zumeta and Stephen Kotev as we celebrate and honor the many guests during our 200th Episode. This is our 5 year anniversary of…

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Added by Patricia M Porter on April 1, 2014 at 10:41pm — No Comments

Questions About Being in Conflict That Have No Right To Go Away

In his wonderful poem “Sometimes” (from Everything is Waiting for You, 2007, Many Rivers Press), David Whyte refers to questions that “have no right to go away”. I really like that statement and it touched a chord in me. So, considering my fascination with the art of inquiry I thought about using Whyte’s phrase as the title and premise of this week’s blog.

It seems that when we are in interpersonal conflict we ask ourselves many things about what is going on between the other person…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on March 27, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Bench Buddy

I don't get to watch the news much anymore ... but when I saw this story I just had to write about it.

The Buddy Bench is a wonderful program that schools all across the country are embracing and kids are part of the driving force in making it happen.

How does it work?

buddybench When a child feels alone or excluded…

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Added by The Olive Branch Blog on March 24, 2014 at 11:29am — No Comments

Being Careless or Care Less in Conflict

We know that conflict has the potential for bringing out negativity in us when we are in dispute with another person. What form and shape that takes varies, of course, and depends in large part on our individual ways of coping, the circumstances, who the other person is, and the history with her or him. Negativity that erupts in any case seems to increase as we become more and more entrenched and the certainty about our rightness and the other person’s wrongness prevails. We may…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on March 20, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

I Didn't Mean it That Way

It seems statements that go like, “I didn’t mean it that way” are ones we use when something we said or how we said it is misinterpreted by another person and offends her or him. Or, it may be a gesture that is misread. In either case, as a consequence of the other person’s reaction to us and the realization that our words or actions are perceived in a way that is not intended, we attempt to defend ourselves and explain what we meant. This is when we may utter phrases like, “I didn’t mean it…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on March 13, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

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