All Blog Posts Tagged 'conflict' (409)

Stop the Dreaded Drama and End Destructive Conflict

Pattie2(Dec2012) zena Zumeta

We have all experienced the drama when we engage in destructive and dysfunctional conflict. It is draining, damaging and downright unhealthy. Zena Zumeta will talk with the Texas Conflict Coach, Pattie Porter to discuss her new Minibuk…

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Added by Patricia M Porter on June 17, 2014 at 11:18pm — No Comments

Conflict Emergency Kit

So ... it's happened. You are being drawn into a conflict. Things are going downhill and you can see the pattern - attack and counterattack. You don't want to go there. What can you do???

I found these suggestions in a book entitled "The Seven Challenges Workbook" which is a guide to cooperative communication skills. They are great to practice when you are in a conflict 'emergency.'…

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Added by The Olive Branch Blog on June 16, 2014 at 11:35am — No Comments

Fighters, Fleers, and Fixers



As a mediation trainer for fifteen years, I must have had these words come out of my mouth thousands of times: Don’t try to fix it for them. As anyone that trains mediators knows, problem solving is such a hard habit to break when you are first starting out. You listen intently to what the parties have to say and the predicament that they find themselves in and when you…

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Added by Elizabeth Clemants on June 12, 2014 at 12:09pm — No Comments

Get Your Goat

I haven’t heard this expression – get your goat – for a while and since writing this blog I have become intrigued with such idioms. This one typically refers to the reaction when someone does something that provokes, infuriates, or annoys us. According to one source the origin is described as follows:

“The dictionary definition of goat is 'a ruminant quadruped of the genus Capra'. What's that got to do…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on June 12, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

IMCP: International Mediators’ Community of Practice

The Alliance for Peacebuilding (AfP) is seeking to create a new Affinity Group for international mediators. The International Mediators’ Community of Practice (IMCP) will provide an informal platform for…

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Added by Nathalie Al-Zyoud on June 11, 2014 at 10:34am — No Comments

Pain in the Neck

When we are in conflict with another person or the dynamics between us seem to be leaning towards one developing, some of us have a tendency to begin to find fault with the other person. We may say to ourselves or others that she or he is “getting on our nerves”. We may attribute negative motives to her or him. We may stay away from this person or show the emotions we are experiencing in various ways. One of the expressions some people use to describe people who are annoying us and to whom…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on June 5, 2014 at 9:00am — No Comments

Peace work comes in all shapes and sizes

Literally, peace work does come in all shapes and sizes. Recently I came onboard with an organization called Arts Action Group. Some really great folks who are arts educators have been traveling to Kosovo and Western Saharah to involve children and youth in arts education and conflict resolution work.

When people find out about this work they question how it resolves conflict. Well you tell me, if children have been affected by dangerous living conditions and the rhetoric of how to hate… Continue

Added by Jillian Post on June 4, 2014 at 2:21pm — No Comments

You Could Cut the Air with a Knife

Have you ever heard this idiom – ‘you could cut the air with a knife’? Generally-speaking, it is a term that describes a tense situation between people and, at times, there is a sense of foreboding that something unpleasant is about to happen. When I looked up the derivation I did not find a lot to draw from. However, here is one commentator’s attempt at a physiological explanation:

“I suggest…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on May 29, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

The Silent Treatment

One of the ways that some people manage conflict is by using the ‘silent treatment’. This expression refers to “Maintenance of aloof silence toward another as an expression of one’s anger or disapproval”. The same source says this phrase is “a deliberate discourteous act”.

There may be a number of reasons for using the silent treatment – and some intentions may be like those for letting the other person…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on May 22, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Unbearable Conflict Requires Courageous Conversation

Eric Galton

Many people have encountered great challenges and unbearable pain from disputes as a result of strongly held values, belief systems and personal principles. And yet, people have the courage and ability to break through these barriers and create a common bridge. Eric Galton, renowned mediator, is a catalyst for these breakthroughs providing people with a safe…

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Added by Patricia M Porter on May 20, 2014 at 11:48pm — No Comments

Conflict transformation skills training modules

I am interested to get input, guidance and support to provide/develop  conflict transformation skills training modules for middle and high students in Ontario Canada.

I plan to adapt these trainings for the high school and college students in the Swat Valley of Pakistan latter in partnership with facilitators and teachers.

I appreciate any input, guidance and will be pleased to continue this conversation. Best wishes Jahan Zeb Email jahanzebca@gmail.com Twitter…

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Added by Jahan Zeb on May 20, 2014 at 12:12pm — 1 Comment

"I Wish I Hadn't Said That"

There are times in our interpersonal conflicts that – after the fact – we state things like, “I wish I hadn’t said that”. This is along the lines of “If I had it to do over”. It is often a statement made when we acknowledge that something we said triggered off a reaction in the other person that served no purpose except maybe to escalate the dispute. When we are…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on May 15, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Stew in Your Own Juices

The other day a colleague (I’ll call her Janet) told me she and a co-worker (I’ll call him David) had a heated disagreement about a work matter. Janet went on to say that David called her a few hours after and left a contrite message asking to have a coffee and work things out. She then told me she decided not to reply for a few days to let David “stew in his own juices” for a while. When I asked what she means by that, Janet answered, “I thought I’d just let him feel badly a little longer…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on May 8, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

The Gratitude Opportunity: Expressing Gratitude at the Best and Worst of Times

Ross Brinkert Gratitude communication involves expressing appreciation or thanks to others. Hear powerful, real-life stories of individuals who shared moments of gratitude in their work lives. Take away tips to guide you in your own life, whether handling a difficult situation or simply savoring a situation that's already amazing.

Dr. Ross Brinkert is an associate professor of…

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Added by Patricia M Porter on May 6, 2014 at 10:25pm — No Comments

Deconstructing the Use of Power in Mediation

Power, in the field of conflict resolution, is defined as the ability to bring about a preferred outcome. Mediation practitioners further differentiate between the use of power to impose an outcome and the use of power to bring out the conflict parties’ preferred outcome...Read more

Added by Nathalie Al-Zyoud on May 6, 2014 at 11:44am — No Comments

Assumptions - Are They Necessary?

On a recent post on the Conflict Coaching Guild on LinkedIn I posed the following question:

“Generally-speaking, a common reaction - when we are provoked by something another person says or does (or doesn't say or do) - is to make assumptions about their motive, character, etc.

This tendency often heightens in intensity and malevolence if the perceived offense is repeated and our emotional reaction increases.

However, why do you suppose we do not check…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on May 1, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Secret Keeping

I have spent most of my adult life working with people that are in a crisis of some kind. They find their way to me to resolve conflict, internal or external. And in all that time of working with people in this way, I have found that there is one thing that is more toxic to the system than anything else: keeping secrets.

I think often of this time, years ago, when I was invited to a Dim Sum brunch by my brother-in-law with his Chinese guru. In attendance were several other students of…

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Added by Elizabeth Clemants on April 30, 2014 at 11:50am — No Comments

Negotiation and ADR Teachers - Resource Share

At the ABA's DR conference in Miami, an initiative that had started the previous year turned into a tradition: Several dozen teachers offered each other use of their teaching materials to enhance each others' classrooms. It was such a wonderful environment to be in, and offered a great packet of take-aways for teachers. Below, is a write up of the materials shared, complete with links you can use to access them if these were available. Also see the…

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Added by Noam Ebner on April 29, 2014 at 2:30pm — No Comments

Reason or Excuse?

I have been thinking about when I hear someone explaining their rationale for saying or doing something that has upset or provoked me or another person. I realize that at times it sounds like an excuse and at other times it sounds like a reason. You may ask what difference does it make?

Providing reasons or excuses in our conflict interactions often seem to arise during the course of a dispute or after it is over. At these times, we - or the other person - may give a reason or excuse…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on April 17, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

How community-based mediation in immigrant, ethno-cultural, and faith community groups is done to transform conflict?

How community-based mediation in immigrant, ethno-cultural, and faith community groups is done to transform conflict?

Added by Jahan Zeb on April 16, 2014 at 9:54am — No Comments

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