All Blog Posts Tagged 'conflict' (452)

Chancing Your Arm

I like this story about the expression chancing your arm and thought I would pass it on to you. My colleague Mary Rafferty used it recently when referring to someone taking a risk and I had never heard of it. The phrase’s roots did have risk attached to it and also a peaceful gesture.

The story goes that “In 1492 two Irish families, the Butlers of Ormonde and the FitzGeralds of Kildare,…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on December 11, 2014 at 8:00am — No Comments

Stop the Dreaded Drama and End Destructive Conflict

"During the month of December, please enjoy these previously recorded shows...The Best of 2014. We will return live every Tuesday night beginning January 6, 2015. Enjoy the Holidays!"

Pattie2(Dec2012)

We have all experienced the drama when we engage in…

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Added by Patricia M Porter on December 9, 2014 at 11:51pm — No Comments

Having an Axe to Grind

According to wiseGEEK “There are two meanings to the phrase ‘an axe to grind’. The first meaning is the traditional American one, which means having an ulterior motive or personal reasons, other than the obvious, for doing something. The British meaning is to hold a grudge or a grievance against someone or something.”

The same source says:

“The term comes from the grinding…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on December 4, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

The Gratitude Opportunity: Expressing Gratitude at the Best and Worst of Times



Gratitude communication involves expressing appreciation or thanks to others. Hear powerful, real-life stories of individuals who shared moments of gratitude in their work lives. Take away tips to guide you in your own life, whether handling a difficult situation or simply savoring a situation that's already amazing.

Dr. Ross…

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Added by Patricia M Porter on December 2, 2014 at 11:26pm — No Comments

Getting Hot Under the Collar

According to Mom Generations the origin of the idiom hot under the collar “comes from the fact that anger or aggression generally causes a person’s face and neck to become red, sweaty and hot.  Since the collar covers the neck, the collar becomes hot and sweaty.” This expression provides a good visual of people who literally become…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on November 27, 2014 at 8:00am — No Comments

NEW BOOK - Conflict Mastery: Questions to Guide You

I am thrilled to announce that my new book is now available through Amazon. It is called “Conflict Mastery: Questions to Guide you”.

This is a short summary of what it is about:

This book is about expanding perspectives on common aspects of conflict experiences—before, during, and after they…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on November 20, 2014 at 8:00am — No Comments

Dances of Universal Peace - Dance and Pray Together for Peace

Adam Burk

The program will explore how the Dances of Universal Peace can help to open the way toward conflict resolution. Over more than 45 years, the Dances of Universal Peace have traveled to as many as 50 countries, and more than 200 circles meet regularly in North America alone. The Dances help to bring people together in the spirit of…

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Added by Patricia M Porter on November 18, 2014 at 9:39pm — No Comments

Who Are You When in Conflict?

It happens sometimes that we lose track of ourselves when in conflict. We may find we turn into someone who doesn’t even resemble who we usually are and how we interact. We may become an angry parent, a petulant child, a dogmatic teacher, a judge or other personas that reflect a different somebody than we want to be.

Our changing personality – if and when it appears – may emerge because we are overly stressed and upset, hurt, frightened, overwhelmed, not getting our point across, or…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on November 13, 2014 at 8:00am — No Comments

Pointing Fingers

When we talk about pointing fingers at others (when in conflict) it is typically in the context of blaming them for something. It could be that their words or deeds offended us or got us into trouble. It may be because we didn’t get what we wanted and we suspect the other person’s motives. Or, it may be that we are passing on fault that we own or share.

These and other blame-type scenarios commonly arise in interpersonal conflict and remind me of a great Hindu proverb: …

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Added by Cinnie Noble on November 6, 2014 at 8:00am — No Comments

Hair Trigger Temper

You may have heard the phrase hair trigger temper referring to someone who reacts strongly when angry. As an adjective hair trigger has been described to mean “easily activated or set off; reacting immediately to the slightest provocation or cause”.

As a noun hair trigger refers to “a trigger that allows the firing mechanism of a firearm to be operated by very slight pressure”. According to …

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Added by Cinnie Noble on October 30, 2014 at 8:30am — No Comments

Expectations and Conflict

One of the things that can lead to conflict has to do with unmet expectations. For instance, we had hoped that another person would have said or done something that reflects their care and concern for us; they excluded us from a gathering or decision; they had something we wanted and knew it was important to us; or they didn’t provide their support or were unreliable about a matter. These and other examples of having expectations work both ways, of course, and we could have let someone else…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on October 23, 2014 at 8:00am — No Comments

Sweeping Things Under the Rug

One way of coping with conflict is to sweep things under the rug. As you likely know, this metaphor refers to ignoring problems rather than facing and managing them. One idiomatic definition consistent with this from Wiktionary is “To conceal a problem expediently, rather than remedy it thoroughly.” Sometimes the tendency to sweep things under the rug comes with the hope that what is…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on October 14, 2014 at 8:00am — No Comments

Walking on Eggshells

Wiktionary suggests the following idiomatic explanations of the expression walking on eggshells: 1. “To be overly careful in dealing with a person or situation because they get angry or offended very easily; to try very hard not to upset someone or something.” and 2. “To be careful and sensitive, in handling very sensitive matters.”

When applied to interpersonal conflict I think of those…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on October 9, 2014 at 8:00am — No Comments

"I Hate When He..."

Lately I have been hearing several of my friends complaining about their life partners. It seems it is more than usual, but maybe I am just more aware of their plaints these days for some reason. The gripes typically start with “I hate when he (or she)…” and the “odious” acts, as they perceive them, may be how the person answers the phone, eats, flosses, leaves laundry on the floor, makes puns, and on and on. Of course, the same sorts of responses may be made regarding siblings, friends,…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on October 2, 2014 at 10:00am — No Comments

Embracing Cultural Differences Requires Challenging Your Mindset

Luis Ore 2011 Pattie-fade.jpg (2) Yvette

Globalization is making our world smaller with cross-cultural situations at the core. Even though diversity can be a powerful source for creativity, adaptability and innovation, the potential for conflict increases, requiring even more attention to how we deal with differences…

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Added by Patricia M Porter on September 30, 2014 at 9:47pm — No Comments

My Way or the Highway

It has been a long time since I first heard the expression my way or the highway. Within the context I first heard it and ever since, I have interpreted it to mean that if someone doesn’t go along with the other’s view (position, want, need, etc.) she or he might as well just leave or go away. Consistent with this interpretation, Wiktionary suggests my way or the highway means “an ultimatum…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on September 25, 2014 at 8:00am — No Comments

Transforming Our Inner Conflict

Milagros Phillips

Whether we are aware of it or not we live in a racial world, which proposes equality, but is firmly set on hierarchy, inequality, and separation. patterns of racial dysfunction have been handed down from generation to generation. How do we transform these patterns and begin to live the connection that is part of our natural human existence?

Milagros…

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Added by Patricia M Porter on September 23, 2014 at 11:42pm — No Comments

Negotiation and ADR enter the MOOC Age

On October 20th I’ll be kicking off a four-week basic course on Negotiation: Navigating Professional and Personal Interactions

The unique thing about this…

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Added by Noam Ebner on September 19, 2014 at 2:30am — 2 Comments

Never Cut What You Can Untie

Recently on the Conflict Coaching Guild on LinkedIn I asked members if they would share idioms, phrases, metaphors and other expressions on conflict that they like. There are many I had not heard of and one of those is the title of today’s blog – never cut what you can untie.

This expression was apparently coined by Joseph…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on September 18, 2014 at 8:00am — No Comments

Wave the White Flag

In a recent blog I spoke about the olive branch as a symbol of peace. Another symbol of peace we often think of is the white flag.

According to Wikipedia: “The white flag is an internationally recognized protective sign of truce or ceasefire, and request for negotiation. It…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on September 11, 2014 at 8:00am — No Comments

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