It often happens that the more positional we are about an issue in dispute, the more stuck we are about discussing the matter – much less reconciling matters. Our ability to negotiate, discuss and make amends deteriorates at these times and the other person may dig in his or her shoes in response to us. Or, he or she may have been the one to take a stand in the first place and our reaction contributes to the discord.

We get stuck for many reasons, depending on things like what the…

Listen by clicking on the player below.

Front-line managers to CEOs are all asked to put out fires and fix problems. Stephen Kotev, my guest co-host and I will discuss a simple way to determine what is going wrong in the workplace. We will focus on what managers can do to unravel their problems and understand new ways of breaking down issues into resolvable segments. We will review 5 areas that are the most common root causes to conflict.…

Many of us think we have to win disagreements – that we have to be and be seen as right and that the other person is wrong and has to concede to our viewpoint.  The competitive underpinnings to this approach set up a win-lose scenario and this isn’t usually an optimum way for reconciling conflict differences.

In some cases, agreeing to disagree may be a good outcome. However, for some of us that doesn’t quite work. The reality is, our view of rightness does not have to…

Time's Role In Mediation, Negotiation & Conflict Resolution

Listen below by clicking on the player below.

Robert Fulghum, an American author, is quoted as saying "Sticks and stones will break our bones, but words will break our hearts" not to mention our spirits. Name calling, mudslinging, defaming and insulting words are all about impulsively responding to someone or something that is a threat to the beliefs, values or attitudes we hold dear. We learn it as kids as way to protect ourselves and to hurt others…

When other people provoke us, our perceptions of what is happening sometimes tends to be distorted. Typically, the more egregious the exchange and the angrier we become, the more negative our perspectives are. It seems that once we are irritated by another person and especially if our feelings grow with repeated interactions, it is challenging to disabuse ourselves of the assumptions about the other person and his or her motives. What also happens in many cases is that we get stuck in our…

It is strange to imagine what we look like when we are in conflict. We don’t get to be a spectator and observe ourselves, though on reflection we may be able to describe our demeanour, the look on our face, or how we acted at these times. Thinking about all this inspired some questions for this week’s blog. I began thinking that an interesting way of examining how we engage in conflict is to consider if we are able to ‘see’ ourselves through someone else’s eyes. This is not only how we look…

Conflict mastery is not only about engaging effectively in a conflict once it has evolved. It also entails picking up ‘vibrations’ that may signal dissension with or from another person and addressing the dynamic at the time. It is a matter of being proactive and preventing unnecessary conflict or facilitating positive conflict. Picking up conflict ‘vibes’ may not result in a specific discussion with the other person. It may be a matter of beginning to notice things that seem to be igniting…

Listen NOW by by selecting the play button below.

We all have conflict in our lives...some more complex than others. So, what if you "got conflict?" Sometimes, we are so entrenched in our problem that we lose sight and it feels too complicated to figure out or we solve the wrong problem. Stephen Kotev, my guest…

The Ombuds Year in Review: 2011…

• On Saturday, the Sunni-backed bloc suspended its participation in Iraq’s Parliament after accusing PM al-Maliki’s Shi’ite led government of concentrating power. On Sunday, the last of the US combat troops in Iraq crossed the border into Kuwait after nearly nine years of war, and…

• The trial of Breanna (nee Bradley) Manning, the soldier allegedly responsible for leaking hundreds of thousands of secret state documents to WikiLeaks began this week in the United States. Manning is charged with 23 counts, including…

• Relatives of inmates on a hunger strike in Kyrgyzstanpicketed a pretrial detention centre on Wednesday to demand their relatives’ demands be met. The protesters are calling upon reviews for the inmates’ cases, who they claim have been sentenced for crimes they didn’t commit. On Tuesday, the Kyrgyz Parliament…

Listen to the Show by clicking on the player below.

"For December, we have chosen some of our favorite past shows to support you through the holiday season. Enjoy!"

Dr. Abuelaish talks about his education as a Palestinian, becoming a doctor, his work at an Israeli hospital delivering babies and going back and forth over the border to Gaza, and the night that 3 of…

Hello, hope all is well!

This week’s conflict reports will be a little thinner than usual, as I have been feeling a bit under the weather the last couple days and haven’t been reading as extensively as normal. Please be sure to add anything I have missed in the comments below or send via email to apeaceofconflict@gmail.com.

Thanks!

Rebecca

• The New…

• Fatima Bensouda was formally elected as chief prosecutor for the International Criminal Court on Monday. Bensouda was the only candidate running for the election and will take over from Luis Moreno-Ocampo in June.
• The UNDP has released its 2011 Human Development Report. This report projects a…

Models of Standards For Mediator Certification Programs

The Model Standards for Mediator Certification Programs stands on the shoulders of those who…

• The EU is set to restrict the sale of the main active substances needed for lethal injections to the United States. By Friday, the export of sodium thiopental will only be possible with special permission.
• French President Sarkozy said that there are now clearly “two Europes”…

• The Atlantic published an article highlighting the 10 biggest Middle East Stories of 2011.
• American Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich again spoke out against Palestine this week,…