Jason Dykstra's Blog (46)

Intent...Action...Effect!

(originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

Whenever I say Intent, Action, Effect it always feels like I'm saying lights, camera, action!

Anyways...let’s take a moment and look at this model together. I really like this model because we are able to break down virtually every conversation we have and talk about what our private motives were and what was the public event/action that took…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on May 17, 2011 at 10:51am — 5 Comments

Dog Poop and Conflict

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)





Isn't this a beautiful picture of a glorious winter?  From all the beauty that we can see in this picture we know that something is wrong.  That snow is covering poop.



This past weekend I picked up my dog’s poop that had accumulated over the winter.  It was a bittersweet moment, bitter because it…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on May 9, 2011 at 7:22am — No Comments

The Entrepreneur Equation (Carol Roth)

(Originally Posted at Absolution Mediation)

Let me give you two scenarios:



1. It's about two hours after lunch and you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.  You notice you have food wedged into your front teeth, and you just got out of an important meeting, and no one said anything!  You feel embarrassed that you were walking around like that, but kind of glad no one…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on April 30, 2011 at 4:17pm — No Comments

The Art Of Shutting Up

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation





So I have an idea…it’s not a new idea, but it is one that will help you learn more about people, glean more information about them, and to get them talking. You ready for it? Here it is…

Shut up!

Yes…that’s right…I want you to shut up. There are a couple of reasons for this strategy (yes I just called… Continue

Added by Jason Dykstra on April 8, 2011 at 9:00am — No Comments

A Biased Mediator

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

The Weight Scale

If you've heard about mediators you have probably been told that they do not have biases.  According to Dictionary.com a bias is;

"to cause partiality or favortism in (a person); influence, especially unfairly."
Many mediators will say that… Continue

Added by Jason Dykstra on April 6, 2011 at 7:00am — No Comments

What the @#$#@ is Mediation?

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

In February I had the opportunity to speak at Ignite Waterloo.  Wow...was I nervous!  I had 20 slides that auto-advanced every 15 seconds.  I'm not going to lie, I didn't say everything that I wanted to say in that 5 minutes, but I think my message got across.  Take a…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on March 16, 2011 at 10:16pm — No Comments

The Power of an Apology

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

Recently I read an article/blog questioning "How Powerful is an Apology?" We all like to think that when we receive or give an apology, that some sort of healing takes place.  In this…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on March 13, 2011 at 9:37pm — No Comments

Relationships and Scott Stratten

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)
"We're just going to keep going, we're not going to stop" - Scott Stratten
A few weekends ago I went on a youth retreat.  The theme was "Back to the Basics" and required all participants to leave computers, phones, Ipods, etc. at home.  When I heard this part, I started shaking...a whole… Continue

Added by Jason Dykstra on March 6, 2011 at 9:56pm — No Comments

Radiohead and Conflict

Alright, I'm excited...last Friday Radiohead's newest album was released. It's called "King of Limbs" and I downloaded it from their website the first opportunity I got.  If you haven't already figured it out, I'm a fan of them.  So you can imagine my surprise when I loaded it on my Ipod, listened to it on the way to work, and was less then impressed.  Yes, I said it, I was not impressed.  So I talked to my community and… Continue

Added by Jason Dykstra on February 27, 2011 at 8:16pm — No Comments

The Illusion of Communication

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

Take a moment to read this quote,

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." - George Bernard Shaw
This is a problem that I think we have all had at one time or another.



You ask your wife to pick up Sally after school while she is reading a… Continue

Added by Jason Dykstra on February 16, 2011 at 10:44pm — No Comments

Do you want to be a driver or a passenger?

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

I drive everyday.  I love it.  I drive to work, friends house’s, long trips, you name it, I drive there.  So whenever I become a passenger in a vehicle, I feel a little strange.  It’s like someone else is controlling my fate, and taking me towards my destiny.



Dramatic?



Probably.  This is one of the things that… Continue

Added by Jason Dykstra on February 14, 2011 at 7:10am — No Comments

Are we hard-wired for litigation?

(originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

I am currently reading “A is for Asshole: The ABC’s of Conflict Resolution” (Review coming soon) by Victoria Pynchon and one of the chapters is called “J is for Judge.” All of a sudden it hit me. We are hard-wired…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on February 6, 2011 at 11:50pm — 2 Comments

Why Listening is Important

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

Listen





I spend a lot of time listening these days.  I have to tell you, it's awesome.  I also am starting to write a fair amount about listening on this blog and on Twitter as well.



So why do I spend time writing and speaking (ironic isn't it?) on listening?



Because there is a true art to…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on January 30, 2011 at 6:29pm — 6 Comments

Fairly Legal or Barely Ethical?

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation



Over the past few months I have waited with baited breath for this show Fairly Legal to come to television. Many questions have passed through my mind (as well as other mediators, I’m sure) about how this show is going to portray mediation. And finally it debuted on U.S. airwaves last week with USA Network (watch it…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on January 24, 2011 at 11:30am — No Comments

Skills - They Take Work

(Orginally posted at Absolution Mediation)

Plates & glasses Every time I move I am faced with a major crisis.  The kitchen cupboards.  I can never remember where we put the plates, where the cheese slicer is, where my favourite pan is, and I know you have the same thing.  However, time goes on and the more we reach for that (enter search item…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on January 21, 2011 at 6:43pm — 3 Comments

We all have a story to tell

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

What is it about a story that makes people so intrigued?  This past Friday I posted the above status on Facebok; Once…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on January 18, 2011 at 7:22am — No Comments

I remember when...

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

My Favorite Book Shop ......... (Photo Credit: Lochaven)

So Christmas has come and gone, we went to some family things, talked to some friends, and maybe have a few family things lingering yet.  I'm willing to bet that over this holiday…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on December 30, 2010 at 10:37am — 2 Comments

Thoughtless Listening: Can you do it?

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

Baby Shoes

(Photo Credit: Gabriel)

So the other day I issued a challenge to you. Clear your mind of thoughts and listen to someone fully without clouding…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on December 15, 2010 at 7:25am — No Comments

Hello? Are you listening?

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

From a very young age, we tell our children to listen. As we grow older and wiser, we are continually told to listen. While we all know what the word ‘listen’ means, how often do we actually stop and…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on December 12, 2010 at 9:49am — 5 Comments

What makes you smile?

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)
Yesterday I did a "photo shoot" for some pictures for my website/twitter/facebook and I was constantly smiling for these pictures! Also,… Continue

Added by Jason Dykstra on December 5, 2010 at 7:59am — No Comments

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