Cinnie Noble's Blog – March 2014 Archive (4)

Questions About Being in Conflict That Have No Right To Go Away

In his wonderful poem “Sometimes” (from Everything is Waiting for You, 2007, Many Rivers Press), David Whyte refers to questions that “have no right to go away”. I really like that statement and it touched a chord in me. So, considering my fascination with the art of inquiry I thought about using Whyte’s phrase as the title and premise of this week’s blog.

It seems that when we are in interpersonal conflict we ask ourselves many things about what is going on between the other person…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on March 27, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Being Careless or Care Less in Conflict

We know that conflict has the potential for bringing out negativity in us when we are in dispute with another person. What form and shape that takes varies, of course, and depends in large part on our individual ways of coping, the circumstances, who the other person is, and the history with her or him. Negativity that erupts in any case seems to increase as we become more and more entrenched and the certainty about our rightness and the other person’s wrongness prevails. We may…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on March 20, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

I Didn't Mean it That Way

It seems statements that go like, “I didn’t mean it that way” are ones we use when something we said or how we said it is misinterpreted by another person and offends her or him. Or, it may be a gesture that is misread. In either case, as a consequence of the other person’s reaction to us and the realization that our words or actions are perceived in a way that is not intended, we attempt to defend ourselves and explain what we meant. This is when we may utter phrases like, “I didn’t mean it…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on March 13, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Seeing Red

The colour red is a symbol for many different things, such as blood, a signal to stop, heat, and a warning. In the conflict context we sometimes use the expression seeing red to describe our reaction to something another person did or said that offends us. This phrase reportedly “derives from the sport of bull-fighting and the toreador’s use of a red cape to deceive the bull”. The explanation goes though…

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Added by Cinnie Noble on March 6, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

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