According to Mom Generations the origin of the idiom hot under the collar “comes from the fact that anger or aggression generally causes a person’s face and neck to become red, sweaty and hot.  Since the collar covers the neck, the collar becomes hot and sweaty.” This expression provides a good visual of people who literally become…

I am thrilled to announce that my new book is now available through Amazon. It is called “Conflict Mastery: Questions to Guide you”.

This is a short summary of what it is about:

This book is about expanding perspectives on common aspects of conflict experiences—before, during, and after they…

It happens sometimes that we lose track of ourselves when in conflict. We may find we turn into someone who doesn’t even resemble who we usually are and how we interact. We may become an angry parent, a petulant child, a dogmatic teacher, a judge or other personas that reflect a different somebody than we want to be.

Our changing personality – if and when it appears – may emerge because we are overly stressed and upset, hurt, frightened, overwhelmed, not getting our point across, or…

When we talk about pointing fingers at others (when in conflict) it is typically in the context of blaming them for something. It could be that their words or deeds offended us or got us into trouble. It may be because we didn’t get what we wanted and we suspect the other person’s motives. Or, it may be that we are passing on fault that we own or share.

These and other blame-type scenarios commonly arise in interpersonal conflict and remind me of a great Hindu proverb: …