The Olive Branch Blog's Blog – February 2015 Archive (8)

My Trigger–My Temper

So, my Dad and Brother came for a visit last week–and, overall, it was a success. The kids love their “cool” Uncle Kai who is unattached at 42 years-old–no wife, no kids, few responsibilities–and TONS of fun (tube sock wars, music video making, hide-and-seek).

My brother probably didn’t know about my “trigger.” You know what it is–it’s that one subject no one is allowed to criticize, lest…

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Added by The Olive Branch Blog on February 26, 2015 at 10:46am — No Comments

Don’t Engage that Rage

A few months ago, I wrote a blog post about the 5 ways of handling conflict – it was entitled Turtle, Teddy Bear, Shark, Fox or Owl?

Today, I want to send a little more time talking about the Turtle a.k.a. the ‘Avoider.’…

Man Expressing Road Rage

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Added by The Olive Branch Blog on February 23, 2015 at 10:49am — No Comments

Money Matters in Mediation

If you’re anything like me, the “money” portion of the mediation is always…well…uncomfortable. Even though my Dad worked in finance his whole life, and money was often talked about at our dinner table, I still feel “bad” bringing up money, even when it’s the final sticking point in a mediation.

This month’s Neighborhood Mediation Center newsletter hit on the issue and addressed how to get past the hurdle when both parties are stuck in the numbers game, and…

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Added by The Olive Branch Blog on February 19, 2015 at 10:38am — No Comments

A Kindness Ripple

Bullying has been around a long time and it never made sense to me that some kids thought the bullies were cool. How could that be? They intimidate kids and cause them to be fearful. That’s a horrible feeling.

And now, technology offers an easy and ‘faceless’ way to harass kids – everything from spreading rumors about someone online to stealing a student’s account information and sending out hurtful messages from them.

Earlier this month, in my…

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Added by The Olive Branch Blog on February 16, 2015 at 3:46pm — No Comments

Behind Every Complaint…

We live in the age of catchy, pithy phrases that usually don’t amount to much substance (conscientious uncoupling?), but I came across one lately that seemed to actually be worthwhile. In fact, I used it in my last post, but didn’t really explain its meaning. I’m talking about “constructive conflict.”

It’s a term I often use with couples when teaching them about “fighting” without damaging the relationship. And,…

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Added by The Olive Branch Blog on February 12, 2015 at 11:31am — No Comments

Just One Thought Away …

In February of every odd year (for the last 20 years), my life changes dramatically.

This marks the beginning of the Nevada legislative session – a time when I leave my personal life behind and embark on a 120 day work journey. It is an amazing time, filled with ups and downs, that puts great demands on my energy level and tests my durability.

About three months before the session starts, I begin to think about it … probably like a runner think about…

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Added by The Olive Branch Blog on February 9, 2015 at 11:54am — No Comments

The Happiest Couples Do What?

Now, get your mind out of the gutter. It’s not what you think!

The answer actually has to do with one of my favorite parts of doing couples therapy–the moment when I get to give the couple a tidbit of seemingly-contradictory information which makes their faces go, “Wha?”I just finished a book entitled, “For Better,” in which the author takes all sorts of myths about love and researches them to see if they’re true. One particular myth is as follows: The…

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Added by The Olive Branch Blog on February 5, 2015 at 10:47am — No Comments

Shh … it’s a secret!

I wish that a 40 hour mediation class was required to become a parent, boss, team member, husband, wife, neighbor … heck for just about any role in life.  Why?

Because the skills I learned in my first mediation class serve me well every single day.

So many times, I have used them to ‘deescalate’ an escalating situation. You know the kind where people are getting worked up, their ability to hear each other is waning and they are ready to spar … or…

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Added by The Olive Branch Blog on February 2, 2015 at 10:59am — No Comments

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