So, the family and I went to Washington, D.C. last week, and I would call it a vacation–except there’s nothing relaxing about dragging three children through the streets of Washington, D.C. to view all the historic sites.

But, it was a learning experience. And, on the last day, as we toured the U.S. Capitol, I learned that we have a long heritage of conflict resolution in this country–and that made me proud. As we were listening to our tour in the Rotunda,…

An experience at court the other day gave me the idea for this post about change and how we deal with it.

We have been mediating at court in the same conference room for about three years now. Last week, I arrived to find that another group had vacated the room but left a projector at the end of the long table where I usually sit. The rule at the court is that you don’t touch any…

If you’re like me, you’ve often wondered why some apologies seem, well, insincere. Turns out, there’s real science behind the art of apologies, and researchers at The University of Miami think they’ve cracked the code, according to an article in Yahoo Health.

In the study, 356 young men and women completed questionnaires and took part in interviews about a conflict and their feelings about the person involved in the conflict. They also prepared a speech, which was filmed, and…

Have you ever thought about how you handle conflict?

In our 40 hour mediation class, our students do a learning exercise to better understand their approaches to conflict. What surprises most of them is that they use a variety of ways, based on the situation or person they are dealing with.

Here is a fun way to think about your approaches to conflict resolution – taken from the animal kingdom.

TURTLE – THE AVOIDER…

Since children seem to grow up so fast these days, it’s hard to remember that they’re still…well…children. And, children absorb EVERYTHING around them, including conflict.

Last Monday, I introduced the idea of “communication stoppers” – those phrases that we use that discourage others from communicating with us.

Did you have a chance to see if you were using them too? I know I did and it’s amazing how they slip in to my conversations.

Here is the second half of the list with some examples.

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How do you know when it’s time to cut bait? It’s a question that’s plagued me for a while now, mostly because many of my clients are in my office as a direct result of the inability to do so.

Mostly, my clients are wondering when to say “good-bye” to their marriages, but the anxiety over ending a relationship doesn’t only pertain to romantic ones. Business relationships, friendships, even toxic family relationships can be exceedingly hard to give up. So,…

What can inhibit 2 way conversation?? A ‘communication stopper’ can.

What’s that?

A communication stopper is a phrase that discourages someone from expressing him or herself.  It may not only shut down a conversation, but can also make it more difficult to connect again in the future.

I pulled out the manual for our 40 hour Basic Mediation class…

Mediation and Couples Therapy–Mutually Exclusive?



Jeanette recently sent me an article about mediation and couples therapy by Don Sinkov, a New York mediator, which focused on mediation and couples therapy. Basically, the writer expressed his thoughts on referring couples to therapy when the issues run too deep for the mediation table.

The writer focused on…