Today is Halloween so I picked a scary topic – difficult conversations.

What’s so frightening about them?

Often a lot is at stake or we feel that things really aren’t fixable.

We would rather get a root canal done rather than figure out a way to “confront” the other person.

We don’t want to hurt someone…

Today is Halloween so I picked a scary topic – difficult conversations.

What’s so frightening about them?

Often a lot is at stake or we feel that things really aren’t fixable.

We would rather get a root canal done rather than figure out a way to “confront” the other person.

We don’t want to hurt someone…

Today is Halloween so I picked a scary topic – difficult conversations.

What’s so frightening about them?

Often a lot is at stake or we feel that things really aren’t fixable.

We would rather get a root canal done rather than figure out a way to “confront” the other person.

We don’t want to hurt someone…

After many years of counseling couples in my therapy office, I’ve learned to pick-up on different patterns, many of which are universal in so many of the couples I see.

One of those patterns concerns change – namely, lack of change vs. too much change. I’ll explain…

When I learn more about couples, especially those who have been together five or more years, I sometimes learn something interesting: One partner comes into the relationship hoping the other partner won’t…

Lots of parents help their kids with homework and projects.

But did you know that if you are “math anxious,” you may actually be passing that anxiety along to your kids – by trying to help?

Yup. That’s according to a study of first and second graders published inPsychological Science.…

I pledge to discuss this election with civility, to treat people whose opinions differ from mine with respect, and to focus on ideas, policies and values.

I will encourage others to do the same.

I will speak up when I hear name-calling, stereotypes and slurs.

I will do this because children are…

What do you think of when someone says the word, “conflict”? If you ‘re like most of us, it conjurs-up a negative feeling and response. In fact, Kerry Foreman, from the Huffington Post, likes to ask 5th graders to react to the word, “conflict,” when she speaks to children.

No suprise – all the children have negative responses to the word. And, frankly, why wouldn’t they? Most of us have been taught that conflict is BAD. Conflict is something to be avoided at all costs. And,…

As of today, only 533 people have reached Earth orbit – I had to look that statistic up.

Why is that important?

Because they had the opportunity to view the world — from an amazing place. They peered out of their space capsule to see the globe without boundaries and lines on a map. They had the advantage of seeing the whole — in all its beauty and simplicity.…

I love seeing interviews with long-time married couples. They’re always so honest. For example, you won’t much hear about a 60 year-marriage that was total bliss or total despair. Instead, you’ll often hear stories about ups-and-d0wns, ebbs-and-flows, and peaks-and-valleys.

In fact, most couples who have been together for decades can talk about entire weeks/months/years during which questioned if the relationship would work out at all. But, here they are, decades later,…

Some phrases just have a great ring to them.

“Collective Intelligence” is one of those.

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We don’t travel our paths alone.

Sometimes we might think that it would be better if everyone agreed with us, shared our opinions and simply followed our lead … right?

But that’s just not the way it works.

It’s our diversity that defines our individuality.

If we don’t incorporate the ideas of…

Being a journalist-turned-therapist, “WHY” is one of my all-time favorite questions. It’s the fastest way to get to the heart of the matter, and it makes people think about their motivations, their feelings, and their concerns all at once.

But, I’ve also learned the downside of “WHY” and discovered that prodding too deeply into someone’s motivations may actually hinder progress, especially at the mediation table.

At a certain point, finding out WHY someone did something…

I can vouch for this from my own experience from mediations.

When parties in a mediation see the “humanness” in another person, they are often open to appreciating them on a different level … which can open the door to developing compassion and perhaps a change in their own attitude.

Often, accessing the humanity underneath each others’ hard exteriors can be a real challenge.

It takes work. Sometimes it’s just easier to characterize each other…

Even if you HATE apologizing (like I do),  “I’m sorry” are two of the most important words you’ll ever say. Or are they?

Turns out, it’s HOW you say, “I’m sorry” that matters, not the words themselves. I mean, how many times have you heard, “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you don’t understand.” And my personal favorite, “I’m sorry you can’t take a joke.”

Those “pseudo” apologies don’t count.…

Have you ever heard of a term called “group think?”

“Group think” happens when a group thinks or makes decisions in a way that discourages creativity and dissenting viewpoints.

Now .. that’s an innovation killer. Groups members flow with the group and alternative ideas are lost in the process.

So … how do we encourage innovation, stretch participants beyond their comfort zones and tap into collective wisdom in the process?

New pathways…