During this Thanksgiving week, I would like to give thanks for all the mediation skills I learned that help me not only at the mediation table … but in everyday life too.

This list was derived from a video created by John Ford on the HR Mediator Channel. Thank-you, John, for your insightfulness.

1. Be Your Real Self – To me, this means to be the best person you can be … in all situations.
2. Be Relaxed and Calm – My life can be so hectic, but I always arrive at a mediation early, and leave the craziness at the door. It’s what I try to do when sitting down at the dinner table too.
3. Be Open to Subtle Information and Feedback –  I can’t tell you how many cues I have received from people that they have never said out loud. A sigh, a furrowed brow, a sad glance. There is so much to learn from keeping your antenna up and in ‘receiving mode.’
4. Be an Empathetic Rapport Builder – Finding that common understanding is what it’s all about for me – whether as a ‘neutral’ in a mediation or advocating for my cause in a business meeting.
5. Be Equally There for Everyone – Being balanced and impartial is what I was trained to do in mediation. Taking this approach to the outside world is totally different. But when you realize that agreements don’t come about because one side gets all that they want, you begin to realize that being there equally for everyone, helps to move the process forward … not your position.
6. Be a Collaborative Process Guide – Not a Decision Maker – How many times have we read that great leaders don’t lead by telling people what to do. They empower them to get things done.
7. Be a Keeper of Confidences – Mediation is a confidential process and all of the parties are bound by that. In the outside world, being someone that others can trust explicitly, gives them the freedom to share.
8. Be a Respecter of Differences –  Not all mediations end in an agreement … which was a challenging lesson for me to learn.  And sometimes, in my other world, people just can’t stand together on common ground. Understanding that differences may be the reality, will hopefully allow for co-existence and mutual respect – despite all of that.
9. Be an Inspiring Beacon of Hope – People that know me well, would probably agree that I don’t give up easily and am always trying to find yet another path to resolution. I see that as being a hopeful person, no matter what I am trying to do.

I am also very grateful for you, our readers.

Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Jeanette

P.S. The benefits of taking a mediation class are tremendous – even if you never want to mediate. Please contact me if you would like to find out more.