I was fairly young when I first heard the idiom ‘you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar’. It was one of my mother’s pearls of wisdom. Her name was Pearle and so, she took her name seriously by dispensing precious lessons on life with short homilies and expressions.

I recall this particular one was said to me when I wanted something from my cousin and after a few attempts at asking nicely, I gave up and became more demanding. I can still hear my mother making this…

The aftermath of conflict is fraught with ongoing tension for many. Even when a situation is resolved, it is common that residual feelings and thoughts prevail. Hurt, anger, disappointment, and other emotions that linger reflect unresolved needs for which blame and criticism and other negative reactions may remain. Some people are plagued by wish-statements like: “I wish I had said…”; or “I wish I hadn’t…” Sometimes, the afterthought and feelings overwhelm and preclude any semblance of…

One of the things that leads to conflict – at least inner conflict – is when we seem to lose the ability to speak up, voice our needs, express our feelings, defend our perspective, and so on. This may have to do with the fear of conflict and ironically, can easily result in unnecessary discord and tension – at least internally.

There may be some situations and people that are more challenging than others that seem to preclude the wherewithal to speak up. Or, for some speaking up does…

One of the things that happens when an interpersonal conflict begins to brew is a need to decide whether or not to raise the issue, concern, etc. with the other person. And how and when to do so, if that is the choice we make. This conundrum is often complicated for those who have a tendency to ‘bottle things up’ which essentially translates into containing thoughts and feelings and a hesitancy to share what is happening.

Let’s take the imagery of bottling things up a little further…