Jason Dykstra's Blog (46)

Success as a Mediator...for Dummies

Let me start off by saying I’m not a huge fan of _______ for Dummies. Never have been. So when Victoria Pynchon asked me to review a copy(yes...I didn’t pay for it and am not being paid for this review) of Success as a Mediator for Dummies I was a little skeptical as to how good…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on January 2, 2013 at 9:09pm — No Comments

Using Experience to Break Impasse

Ever wonder why there are different views of what happened in every experience?

I get to see this almost daily.  I sit down with people who have very opposing stories and differing views on both of them witnessing the same event.  You have your version of the story.  They have their version of the story.  I piece together my own version of the story.  Then there is the actual story of what happened.

Below,…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on March 13, 2012 at 7:04am — No Comments

Myth #4: I can be You!

“The thing I love about social networks is I can be anyone I choose to be!”



This statement is the basis for a lot of conversations for me lately.  There seems to be two schools of thought around this in the conversations that I’m having.

1) Mistrust



There are a lot of creepers out there and social media allows them to hide their creepiness.  How…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on March 13, 2012 at 7:01am — No Comments

The Reaction Cycle: What happens when we react?

The other day I came home after a long day of work and put my bag down and said hi to my wife and son. I took off my shoes and my coat and draped it over my bag in the kitchen. The second my coat and shoes were off my wife asked me to take something outside to the garbage.

“What?? Can’t you see I just literally took my shoes and coat off? You couldn’t ask me that 2 seconds earlier?” was my response.

I reacted. I’m sure you can think of times where that has happened. How do you…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on February 12, 2012 at 7:47pm — No Comments

Myth #3: Broadcast, Broadcast, Broadcast

What would it be like if you went out for coffee with someone, tried to carry on a conversation with them (respond to what they are saying, ask questions, etc.) and they never stopped talking the entire time?  What if you asked them a question clarifying what they were talking about and they didn’t take the time to answer? What would you do? I know that I would get up and leave….and try to stick…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on February 12, 2012 at 7:44pm — No Comments

Is Your Brand being Reactive or Proactive?

I typically deal with conflict after it’s happened. A family breaks up, someone else got your promotion, you just gave a performance review and it didn’t go well. This is when people come to me...it’s a reaction. It’s after-the-fact, it happens after you have went through an event that caused you some pain, hurt, discomfort….it is a reaction.  This doesn't just happen with individuals, but also with organizations.

So what do these reactions mean for your brand, your…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on February 3, 2012 at 10:53pm — 1 Comment

Myth #2: There's no time!

(Originally posted at SocialMedi8r.com)

Let me guess, you run your own company, you do the books, the marketing, the administrative work, and you have to actually do your job on top of that.  You have your social life, your home life, and you're in charge of walking the dog.  You think to yourself regularly, "Man...I wish…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on January 15, 2012 at 7:30pm — No Comments

3 Things I learned in 2011

There are a lot of resolutions going around at this time of year, there is also a lot of reflection and learning happening as well.  This year has been an awesome (and I don't use that word lightly!) and many, many things have happened. Some extremely joyful, others extremely sad...either way they have stretched me, taught me new things, and made me a better person. Here is a quick snapshot (in no specific order): My son turned 1, grew a business, quit my day-job, wife returned to work, my…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on January 8, 2012 at 8:57pm — No Comments

It's how you Brand Against the Machine

(Originally posted at Social Medi8r.com)

This week I had the privilege of interviewing John Morgan, the author of the book, "Brand Against the Machine".  There is so much…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on December 29, 2011 at 2:20pm — No Comments

Social Medi8r - Learn how to communicate online

Ah yes...the conflict resolution professional. Years of training in reframing, paraphrasing, asking questions, rephrasing, and so much more.  Learning communication skills, how to listen to folks, build rapport, and so much more.  

Here's the thing...you know more about marketing and social media then the regular person.  You have that training, you have experience (a lot or a little)...you know how to communicate with people.  

Marketing for you could be easy, it could be…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on November 27, 2011 at 12:05am — No Comments

You have the skills to deal with conflict

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

That's right, you have the necessary skills to deal with all the conflict in your life.  Sure there are new skills that you can acquire, you can always build on your foundational skills.  In order to deal with the majority of conflict in your life however, you have the skills to deal with it.  That's not saying that…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on November 13, 2011 at 4:28pm — No Comments

Win a copy of "Uncertainty" by Jonathan Fields!

I read an interesting book lately called Uncertainty by Jonathan Fields recently and it has changed the way I think about many things.  The tagline for this book say "Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance."  So why did this book resonate with me so much?



We all deal with uncertainty.  We all deal with a fear of the unknown.  We all need to get to know our strengths and weaknesses… Continue

Added by Jason Dykstra on October 24, 2011 at 7:23am — No Comments

Engaging with Conflict

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

How do you respond to conflict? This conflict could be personal, work-related, in your community, or even online. One thing we all have in common is that we all have conflict in our lives, we all know what it is like to go through conflict, and we can probably all tell a story about how conflict has changed our life. Here's the thing that I've…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on October 3, 2011 at 10:28am — No Comments

Rapport Wasn't built in a day

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation

Ok...you got me, the saying is actually "Rome wasn't built in a day" so I changed it to something more relevant; "Rapport wasn't built in a day."  Right? Well, here's the thing...I don't really believe that either... Rapport can be built with someone within the first 5 minutes (Not a scientific fact...but something that I know). So I…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on September 14, 2011 at 9:28am — No Comments

What the heck is a Twitter chat??

So you signed up for a Twitter account and you're just getting your head around tweeting, mentions, Direct Messaging (DM's), how to reply to people, retweeting, and hashtags (#).  It's a lot to take in!  So I'm going to make this simple for you. 

 

On August 31st Jeff Thompson and I are hosting a Twitter chat which is going to be running…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on August 8, 2011 at 10:30am — No Comments

Why your Mother was wrong about confrontation

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

Remember when your mom used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all"? I do...I used to get it a lot!  Here's the thing that I don't like about that saying..."Don't say anything at all."



There were always 1 of 2 things happening when my mother used to tell me that saying 1: I was…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on July 29, 2011 at 10:26am — No Comments

Past, Present, Future - There is a story there

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

Where did you come from?  Where are you now? Where are you heading?



This weekend I had the privilege to read over the story of my great-grandparents journey as they lived in the Netherlands and later moved to Canada.  Amazing people!  Such courage and determination they showed!







Then I read about my Opa (who is one of the role…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on July 6, 2011 at 9:00am — 1 Comment

Intent and the Truth

(Originally posted at Absolution Mediation)

This past week I had the pleasure of being a speaker at Tweetstock in Brantford, Ontario where we talked about the Art of Community.  There I talked about how to engage with conflict, both online and offline.  I'll get more into what I talked about possibly in the next few weeks, but one thing I did talk about is Intent.…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on July 5, 2011 at 9:15am — 3 Comments

Everyone has a story...

Yes...it's true, everyone has a story.  I have a story, you have a story, your friend has a story, even your enemy has a story.  Everyone has a story.  Agreed?



When I sit down with people everyone has a story.  These stories usually are conflicting stories and each person believes that their story is the truth.  I also formulate a story from these stories...then there is a 'story' that actually happened out there somewhere.  One thing that I try to do is to get people to see the… Continue

Added by Jason Dykstra on July 5, 2011 at 9:13am — No Comments

The Scary "C" Word

(Originally posted at Absolution Medation)

The C-word is something that we are scared of. Many people even avoid saying the word for fear that it will happen to them. At the first sign of it they run, or fight, or freeze. We try to avoid it, we try to hide it, we walk on egg-shells around it. The word that I’m talking about of course is…

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Added by Jason Dykstra on June 13, 2011 at 6:36am — No Comments

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