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The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

Does Our Intent = Our Actions?

I started thinking about this blog topic because I read an article about a famous American who thought he was open to negotiation and compromise. Was he? I’m not sure. But apparently, he thought so.Stephen Covey said that “We judge ourselves by our intentions …”  however, others don’t know anything about our intentions. They can’t read our minds. All they can observe are our actions.…See More
Feb 13
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

Videoconferenced to Room 4401 of the Grant Sawyer State Office Building,

I chose this topic for today’s post because it’s the first day of the Nevada Legislature. And I am about to be immersed in a pretty adversarial place for the next 120 days.Many years ago,  I heard the phrase “don’t let perfect stand in the way of good” and I will admit … I wasn’t quite sure what advice a legislator was trying to give a group of us that legislative session.However, over the years, I have learned.The legislative process can be a pretty contentious one. Often positions on bills…See More
Feb 6
Meir Huwitz liked The Olive Branch Blog's blog post The Danger Of “Just Getting It Over With…”
Feb 3
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

How To “Undramatically” Back-Out of Drama

Do you ever find yourself in the midst of “drama” you just can’t seem to escape? If you’re like a lot of my clients, you may be involved in family drama, friend drama, or (my favorite) relationship drama, some of which just seems to constantly revolve around you.No matter how you “got into” the drama in the first place, one of the most important skills you can gain is learning how to GET OUT of the ongoing conflict – without creating even MORE drama.…See More
Feb 2
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

What happened to respectful dialogue?

It’s tiring …listening to all of the name calling and finger pointing that is going on in the world.What happened to respectful dialogue?How are we supposed to address our nation’s issues if we show such disrespect for each other??People can disagree. That’s a given. It’s human nature to have different points of view.But does that mean that we have to be so rude and attack each…See More
Jan 30
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

The Courage to Listen

I remember where I was on January 28, 1986.I had just arrived at a rural hospital in New York on a work trip when I saw the horrible video of the disintegration of the Space Shuttle Challenger. Everyone was stunned. There would be no work accomplished that day.73 seconds after liftoff, there was a devastating explosion, just like Bob Ebeling had…See More
Jan 23
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

The Danger Of “Just Getting It Over With…”

Because I do so much work with couples in distress, it’s inevitable I’ll work with couples in the midst of a divorce. So, I’m often there from the announcement through the final paperwork, which gives me great insight into the entire process from start to finish.One trend I see over and over again is the notion of “I just want to get this over with.” After so much turmoil, distress, and conflict, it’s not unusual for at least one partner to exhaust himself/herself and concede to any request…See More
Jan 19
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

What Are You “Saying” To Yourself?

Back in graduate school, I loved exploring the different therapy “modalities” out there – psychodynamic, emotionally-focused, Bowenian… I could go on-and-on. But, one more recent way of treating clients and patients really stuck in my mind. And, it’s a theory to which I still subscribe today.The fancy name is “narrative” therapy, but I just like to call it “self-talk.” Basically, it’s the idea that we can ease our distress by changing what we say to ourselves and modifying our personal…See More
Dec 29, 2016
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

2017 Resolution: Separating the Person from the Problem

New Year’s Eve is quickly approaching and it’s time to think about my resolution for 2017.My goal for coming year is to improve my communication skills which are all so important in getting along better in this world.My concept to work on is called ‘separating the person from the problem.’Now what does this idea mean?For starters, it means don’t attack someone when talking to them.Now, you might be saying to yourself, there’s no way that I attack someone when I talk to them.  But it happens…See More
Dec 27, 2016
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

What Christmas Shopping Taught Me about Problem Solving

Sometimes life lessons come along in odd ways.Last summer, two of my nieces were married and I thought it would be fun to frame some photos of my sister and me with the newlyweds to give to my mom.  The frame I found was perfect and the end product looked great. So … I thought that my sister might enjoy one too.I went back to Aaron Brothers…See More
Dec 19, 2016
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

Is It REALLY a Catastrophe?

 How many of you read Facebook posts right before the Presidential election that warned of “complete destruction,” “the end of America,” or “absolute disaster” should one or the other candidate win. I, for one, couldn’t log onto my account without seeing at least five a day!For me, reading these dire predictions brought up something I work on with clients all the time: Catastrophizing.Basically, catastrophizing is the act of viewing current or future events or conditions in a distorted way, so…See More
Dec 15, 2016
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

Expressing Appreciation

Relationships are hard. Period.So, I am always looking for tips to help nurture them.There are a lot of stresses that work against relationships including, most predominantly, daily life.You can fill in the blank … your child is sick and can’t go to school today; that big project is due; the dog escaped from the back yard when you were already late for work.And often the people who are the closest to you, whether it’s at home or at work, bear the brunt of your reaction to whatever it is. You…See More
Dec 12, 2016
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

Attention All Multi-Taskers — How Attentive Are You?

I used to call myself a multi-tasker (and was very proud of this term). As a Mom, wife, therapist, chauffer, chef, maid, etc., I used to think I could do it all — and all at the same time.But, according to the latest research, not only does multi-tasking NOT exist, it can actually create more conflict in your life. Stay with me here…Turns out, study after study shows that we can…See More
Dec 8, 2016
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

Friends Through Thick & Thin

Friendships are important to me as I imagine they are for you.Last August, I wrote a post entitled “I thought we were friends” which described some research that was pretty surprising. Only about half of perceived friendships are mutual!Now, that’s been bugging me since then. Why is…See More
Dec 5, 2016
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

To What, Exactly, Are We Reacting?

As a former Communications major in college (and now as a therapist), my entire life has centered around how and why we speak to each other. So, it’s always a joyous part of my work when I can spend time with my clients talking about communication.One of the most important skills I hope to impart has to do with reflective listening – the act of validating what the other person has said. So, for example, if one person complains “you don’t pay enough attention to me,” the other repeats what he…See More
Dec 1, 2016
The Olive Branch Blog posted a blog post

Money vs. Time

Most of us would say we don’t have enough money.And we all know that we have a limited amount of time on this earth.So …. if you had to pick between the two … which would you choose?That question might create an internal conflict, don’t you think?After all — can’t you do more with your time off if you have money? But if you spent all of your time…See More
Nov 28, 2016

Profile Information

What is your profession and title?
Mediation
What is your ADR experience? (trainings and education)
Jeanette has been a mediator since 2008 and teaches a 40 hour basic mediation class at the University of Nevada Reno Extended Studies.

Britt is a Marriage and Family Therapist pursing licensure in Illinois.
What are you hoping to get from ADRhub.com
Helping people deal with conflict in their everyday lives, and having The Olive Branch Blog become an information resource.
Do you/your company have a website?
http://www.theolivebranchblog.com/
What else do you want to tell the ADRhub.com community (what you are up to, what you would like to do in ADR, etc.)
The Olive Branch Blog is a conflict resolution blog — for real people dealing with conflict in the real world.
Are you on Twitter? If provide a link to your Twitter page.
http://https://twitter.com/olivebranchblog

The Olive Branch Blog's Blog

Thoughts on Being Affable

Posted on March 13, 2017 at 11:17am 0 Comments

Several months ago, I read in the paper, that the new governor of South Carolina was a man known for his ability to ‘disagree affably.’

I wasn’t quite sure what the reporter meant by this because she didn’t site any examples.

However, I thought it would be a good opportunity for me to share a list of words and attributes I thought described being “affable.”

People who are affable are:

  • pleasant;
  • easy to approach and to…
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Your Best Self

Posted on March 7, 2017 at 10:22pm 0 Comments

We all want to be our best self, but sometimes we get off track.

When this happens, we feel unhappy, weighted down and stuck.  And our poor attitude negatively affecting our relationships with others. We are short tempered, petty and argumentative.

Last year, I attended an advanced mediation training and learned this very simple tool to start to understand where we want to be — as opposed to where we are.

First you need sticky notes in two…

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Shared Reality or Not?

Posted on February 27, 2017 at 3:28pm 0 Comments

This is critical to remember …

There really is no such thing as a shared reality.

Our perception of the world is based on our very own set of experiences and history and just like our fingerprints, NO TWO ARE ALIKE.

Each of us has a story that has been created over our lifetime. And even if we grew up in the same family or worked with the same people, when we experience a common life event, we may think that we have a shared…

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Don’t Shoot the Messenger

Posted on February 20, 2017 at 9:49am 0 Comments

You’ve heard the saying “Don’t Shoot the Messenger” before.  It means that you shouldn’t blame the bearer of bad news for the news that he/she is delivering.

So … what does that have to do with conflict?

I am going to draw the parallel to anger.

Anger is a messenger.

It may look or act like…

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