When we’re in conflict, there are many decisions to be made during and after it is over. Even when we anticipate dissension, there are decisions to make about how to effectively engage in the interaction. Our ability to make any sort of decision about conflictual  matters and the relationship dynamic decrease the more upset we become. For various reasons in the heat of the moment we often seem to think it is necessary to do or say something, rather than taking a ‘time-out’ to decide the…

When emotions prevail during interpersonal conflict, many of us cannot easily think ahead to what we want as an outcome. If we acknowledge that possibility, we may do some preparatory work before we initiate a potentially conflictual discussion or get caught up in the middle of one. If we engage in some preliminary reflections, our actions and words will more likely be aligned with our objective. Otherwise, the likelihood of chaotic thinking and feelings is high and we end up conducting…