New Year’s Eve is quickly approaching and it’s time to think about my resolution for 2017.

My goal for coming year is to improve my communication skills which are all so important in getting along better in this world.

My concept to work on is called ‘separating the person from the problem.’

Now what does this idea mean?

For starters, it means don’t attack someone when talking to them.

Now, you might be saying to yourself,…

Sometimes life lessons come along in odd ways.

Last summer, two of my nieces were married and I thought it would be fun to frame some photos of my sister and me with the newlyweds to give to my mom.  The frame I found was perfect and the end product looked great. So … I thought that my sister might enjoy one too.…

How many of you read Facebook posts right before the Presidential election that warned of “complete destruction,” “the end of America,” or “absolute disaster” should one or the other candidate win. I, for one, couldn’t log onto my account without seeing at least five a day!

For me, reading these dire predictions brought up something I work on with clients all the time: Catastrophizing.

Basically, catastrophizing is the act of viewing current or future events or…

Relationships are hard. Period.

So, I am always looking for tips to help nurture them.

There are a lot of stresses that work against relationships including, most predominantly, daily life.

You can fill in the blank … your child is sick and can’t go to school today; that big project is due; the dog escaped from the back yard when you were already late for work.

And often the people who are the closest to you, whether it’s at home or at…

I used to call myself a multi-tasker (and was very proud of this term). As a Mom, wife, therapist, chauffer, chef, maid, etc., I used to think I could do it all — and all at the same time.

But, according to the latest research, not only does multi-tasking NOT exist, it can actually create more conflict in your life. Stay with me here…

Turns out,…

Friendships are important to me as I imagine they are for you.

Last August, I wrote a post entitled “I thought we were friends” which described some research that was pretty surprising. Only about half of perceived friendships are mutual!…

As a former Communications major in college (and now as a therapist), my entire life has centered around how and why we speak to each other. So, it’s always a joyous part of my work when I can spend time with my clients talking about communication.

One of the most important skills I hope to impart has to do with reflective listening – the act of validating what the other person has said. So, for example, if one person complains “you don’t pay enough attention to me,” the other…

Most of us would say we don’t have enough money.

And we all know that we have a limited amount of time on this earth.

So …. if you had to pick between the two … which would you choose?

That question might create an internal conflict, don’t you think?

After all — can’t you do more with your time off if…

“Man up!”, “Boys Don’t Cry”, “You Run Like a Girl!”

I can’t tell  you how many times I heard these phrases growing up – they weren’t directed at me, of course, but they were directed at my brother, and his friends, and most of the boys with whom I hung out.

But, that was the ’80’s. These days, there’s an entire campaign aimed at discouraging these types of phrases (one University even banned them). And, it’s worth noting the reasons why: By telling boys to “man up” or…

One of the favorite things about traveling with clients is spending time together and sharing stories. That’s how I heard this one.

My client’s name is Jennie … for this blog post. She has three daughters who are fairly spread out in age.

The years with Jennie’s middle daughter were rough. She’s in her early 30s now, and mother and daughter are barely at the stage where they like each other again.

So, when Jennie’s youngest daughter became a…

Can teens learn to shrug off social stress?

Dr. David S. Yeager, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, believes the answer is yes … teenagers can be taught to cope with social stressors.

His research addresses mindsets that promote resilience, which he considers an important skill for success in school and life … in general.…

When I have couples come to me for their initial session, we nearly always spend a lot of time on the current problems in the relationship. Both parties are typically relieved to find someone who will listen to the day-to-day problems they face in the marriage. So, it’s always interesting to watch their reaction when I tell them their problems won’t be the primary focus of therapy. WHAT?! Yep, it’s true. What really DOES matter, I tell them, are the “issues” behind the “problems.” And,…

Today is Halloween so I picked a scary topic – difficult conversations.

What’s so frightening about them?

Often a lot is at stake or we feel that things really aren’t fixable.

We would rather get a root canal done rather than figure out a way to “confront” the other person.

We don’t want to hurt someone…

Today is Halloween so I picked a scary topic – difficult conversations.

What’s so frightening about them?

Often a lot is at stake or we feel that things really aren’t fixable.

We would rather get a root canal done rather than figure out a way to “confront” the other person.

We don’t want to hurt someone…

Today is Halloween so I picked a scary topic – difficult conversations.

What’s so frightening about them?

Often a lot is at stake or we feel that things really aren’t fixable.

We would rather get a root canal done rather than figure out a way to “confront” the other person.

We don’t want to hurt someone…

After many years of counseling couples in my therapy office, I’ve learned to pick-up on different patterns, many of which are universal in so many of the couples I see.

One of those patterns concerns change – namely, lack of change vs. too much change. I’ll explain…

When I learn more about couples, especially those who have been together five or more years, I sometimes learn something interesting: One partner comes into the relationship hoping the other partner won’t…

Lots of parents help their kids with homework and projects.

But did you know that if you are “math anxious,” you may actually be passing that anxiety along to your kids – by trying to help?

Yup. That’s according to a study of first and second graders published inPsychological Science.…

I pledge to discuss this election with civility, to treat people whose opinions differ from mine with respect, and to focus on ideas, policies and values.

I will encourage others to do the same.

I will speak up when I hear name-calling, stereotypes and slurs.

I will do this because children are…

What do you think of when someone says the word, “conflict”? If you ‘re like most of us, it conjurs-up a negative feeling and response. In fact, Kerry Foreman, from the Huffington Post, likes to ask 5th graders to react to the word, “conflict,” when she speaks to children.

No suprise – all the children have negative responses to the word. And, frankly, why wouldn’t they? Most of us have been taught that conflict is BAD. Conflict is something to be avoided at all costs. And,…

As of today, only 533 people have reached Earth orbit – I had to look that statistic up.

Why is that important?

Because they had the opportunity to view the world — from an amazing place. They peered out of their space capsule to see the globe without boundaries and lines on a map. They had the advantage of seeing the whole — in all its beauty and simplicity.…