In the aftermath of interpersonal conflicts some of us bounce back quicker than others. There are lots of reasons for this. For instance, as discussed in previous blogs, we may have unresolved issues and emotions that continue to haunt us. Other variables that influence our resilience are how we manage stress, how we process our feelings, our general pessimistic versus optimistic approaches to life, the degree of lingering hurt and other emotions due to the dispute, and so on. Some other factors include our general physical wellbeing and the spiritual and philosophical dimensions of our lives.
What does it mean to bounce back from interpersonal conflicts then? The answer to this question reflects our individual and subjective experience of how we have learned to process discord. The following signs of resilience are just some examples of how we may regain our equilibrium that may have been lost during our disputes. We have a sense and accept that we did the best we could or even if we did not, we are prepared to figure out a way to reconcile things and move on. When we bounce back we stop letting the interaction prey on us and taint the ongoing relationship. We sincerely forgive or apologize and do not hold a grudge against the other person. We forgive ourselves. We are not preoccupied with what we should have done. We let the other person off the blame hook.
When we feel limited in our resilience post-conflict in these and other ways, it is an opportune time to explore why that is the case and to see if we have something to learn from the interaction that facilitates bouncing back. So, if resilience is a challenge for you, these ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) are ones to consider. I suggest you think about a dispute from which you are not bouncing back when responding to the following:
What other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you add here?
Originally posted on www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/