What happens to many of us in the heat of an argument, is that we don’t consider the aftermath. One of the consequences of our actions and words or those of the other person is that we cannot easily undo what hurt we experience or caused. Emotions can linger and the pieces that are not reconciled, end up being the remnants in which we clothe our next dispute.


Thinking before we speak is sage advice that is likely said more than it is practiced. If more of us caught ourselves before destructive words and actions seep out, our disputes may not result in sustained tension and other sentiments that continue long after the conflict is over. The following questions are aimed at building awareness to help eliminate unproductive consequences of conflicts. Consider a previous dispute that lingers and you prefer that it mends instead.

  • What feels unfinished for you about that interaction?
  • How would you describe the consequences that are lingering on for you?
  • What did the other person say or do that lingers on?
  • What do you regret that you said or did in that conflict that continues to bother you?
  • What may the other person say or do at this point that would help matters?
  • What clarification may you not be asking for that you want or need?
  • What may be unfinished or unresolved for the other person?
  • What do you want the other person to know that he or she may not realize and that may help you and/or him or her move on?
  • Considering how you want the relationship to be, what may you say or do to facilitate that?
  • What do you think you could begin to let go of that offended you in this interaction?
  • What seems like a pattern you have when it comes to situations like this that you would like to change?


Any other comments about this topic and/or what other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you ask here?

Originally posted on www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/

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