I couldn’t help but chuckle when I read about Ariana Grande’s latest flub a couple weeks ago. But, it did give me something on which to reflect, so I say “thank you, Ariana!”
Let me set the scene for you: According to media reports, she was in a doughnut store with a friend and decided to lick a plate of doughnuts that were sitting on the counter. Yes, tacky and gross. However, what really got the media in a firestorm was what she did next. Allegedly, Ariana Grande then made a comment to her friend, stating “I hate Americans. I hate America.” (This, of course, in response to looking at a plate of doughnuts. The implication being that Americans are unhealthy and fat).
You can imagine what happened next. The YouTube apology. Except, it was, well, a non-apology, really. She was accused of being insincere, sarcastic, and non-apologetic.
Again, people were outraged. Which, then, prompted ANOTHER YouTube apology. This time, she did it right. She may have even gone a little bit overboard, saying she was “disgusted” with herself and wanting to “disappear.”
What’s the lesson I garnered from all of this (besides to keep rude comments to myself)? Apologize right the first time.
We all mess up, and we all (hopefully) apologize for it later. But, how many times has that first apology been half-hearted and insincere? How many times do we have to “re-do” our apology. Essentially, we have to apologize for our apology!
One of my daughters has such a hard time apologizing, she even spells it out instead of saying it! I’m trying to impart the same lesson on her: apologize right the first time or you risk making the offended party even more upset.
As a work-in-progress apologizer, I plan to make an effort to apologize right the first time. Apologizing can be so painful for me, I want the first time to be the ONLY time!