According to Mom Generations the origin of the idiom hot under the collar “comes from the fact that anger or aggression generally causes a person’s face and neck to become red, sweaty and hot. Since the collar covers the neck, the collar becomes hot and sweaty.” This expression provides a good visual of people who literally become hot from their agitation and anger when in conflict. This reaction is the subject of this week’s ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) blog.
Focusing first on what I observe when someone gets hot under the collar, the most obvious thing I notice is a red face and sometimes the neck (just as in the description above). Often I see that the persons’ eyes are wide and their body may be fidgety or their demeanour appears aggressive. It is clear – in whatever ways it is physically demonstrated – that the person is agitated.
Focusing now on other signs – when I see someone get hot under the collar – I notice she or he may speak quickly or not at all. They may sound breathless or speech patterns may emerge that reflect tension and the range of emotions being experienced. Voices may be louder, words may be punctuated with expletives, and the people getting increasingly vexed may strongly emphasize certain viewpoints and phrases by repeating themselves.
If you have observed these and other sorts of reactions in another person when you are in conflict with them and wonder how to respond, the following questions may assist in your quest for conflict mastery.
What other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you add here?
Originally posted at www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/