It often happens that the more positional we are about an issue in dispute, the more stuck we are about discussing the matter – much less reconciling matters. Our ability to negotiate, discuss and make amends deteriorates at these times and the other person may dig in his or her shoes in response to us. Or, he or she may have been the one to take a stand in the first place and our reaction contributes to the discord.
We get stuck for many reasons, depending on things like what the situation is, who the other person is, the nature of the perceived offense, the strength of our emotional response, the inherent threat to something important to us and so on. A challenging dilemma arises when we’re stuck in a conflict and the ‘stuckness’ works both ways. It is interesting however, that whether it is one or both parties that are stuck, such a state of being blocked or stuck often signifies a crucial turning point in the dispute.
In an attempt to ensure such turning points open the door rather than close them, the following set of questions may be helpful in turning the knob. Please consider a current situation in which you and the other person are stuck in your conflict situation or conversation – getting nowhere fast, holding on to your positions and getting stronger in your respective senses of rightness.
Any other comments about this topic and/or what other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) occur to you?
Originally posted on www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/