Lately I have been hearing several of my friends complaining about their life partners. It seems it is more than usual, but maybe I am just more aware of their plaints these days for some reason. The gripes typically start with “I hate when he (or she)…” and the “odious” acts, as they perceive them, may be how the person answers the phone, eats, flosses, leaves laundry on the floor, makes puns, and on and on. Of course, the same sorts of responses may be made regarding siblings, friends, parents, etc.
I have noticed that the things being complained about generally seem to happen when there has been an accumulation of actions or repeated ones. Or, there is something else going on and the other person’s behaviours become the focus. That is, at times it appears that picking on specific actions that annoy us is one way of coping with underlying provocations and stressors that are not being expressed or faced. So, when this happens the “real” stuff can get lost.
This week’s ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) blog invites you to consider this phenomenon as it applies to someone that provokes you with her or his habits, way of talking, mannerisms, etc.
What other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you add here?
Originally posted at www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/