ADRhub book club members.....


The time has come to start our discussion of "The No Asshole Rule" from our conflict resolution perspective. This week we will focus on chapters one and two. At the beginning of the week, two questions will be posted as a jumping off point. In no way, are you limited to these questions. It is just to help start the discussion. Please post your own questions too.

Keep in mind ADRhub's book club motto is: read, engage, learn. The key to any good book club is discussion. Each week, try to post at least twice to keep our discussions engaging.

Sutton writes about two tests for spotting if a person is acting like an asshole (pg.9). In your opinion, Is the "test" he describes a good assessment for spotting assholes? Is there other key elements that you would add? Anything you would take out?

"Assholes Suffer, Too" (pg.33) Sutton writes about how individuals that he labels as "assholes" who experience humiliation when their behavior is widely circulated by way of Internet or newspaper. Is the humiliation they experience is because their behavior or because of the consequences (loss of job, forced retirement etc) they now face?



Looking forward to reading all of your thoughts and insights.

Have a wonderful week.....

Lynsee

 

*** Please post your response as a separate post in it's own thread ***

Views: 47

Replies to This Discussion

There are also "asshole organizations" to consider.  Oftentimes, the organizational behavior is dictated by the CEO.  If he/she is a jerk, there is a tendency for his direct reports to emulate his behavior.  The civilized people are eventually driven out by the Philistines.  I worked for one organization that was more akin to working for the SS.  Himmler was at the top of our division in Chicago with Hitler in NYC.  The toadying was not to be believed.  One executive raised a glass to the CEO at the Christmas party and wished him to remain in place forever because the boss had stared down death and beaten cancer.  Well, not exactly, he died several months later.  I was reprimanded by my immediate boss(certified asshole) because I did not personally wish our Senior VP Merry Christmas.  I stated that I intended to do so;however, the line to kiss his ass was too long and I did not feel like waiting since the line at the bar was shorter.  I obviously was too blunt and was regarded as an asshole in turn by the powers that be.  The damning euphemism of "not an organizational team player" was appended to me.  I was doomed when I ran into the same Senior VP at the O'Hare Airport wearing a leather jacket instead of a grey flannel suit.  It did not matter that I was on vaction, I had broken the code from which there was no reprieve.  I felt like a character in a Woody Allen movie under 24/7 surveillance for anti-establishment leanings.

Those who toed the line did rather well in their careers.  I cannot condemn all of them as assholes;however, it definitely paid to support the party line.  BTW, performance had very little to do with one's success.  It was all about the internal politics and being a good corporate soldier as opposed to actually accomplishing anything.

In the above scenario, the assholes prospered until the competition heated up, and they actually needed to sell and produce to maintain their market share.  I think that the customers suffered as opposed to the corporate assholes.  Why?  Well, the assholes with held discounts and credits that would have sustained the corporation with their customers.  When I think back on the experience, this was a racist, misogynist, and rigidly structued dysfunctional corporation that made a fortune in spite of their ineptitude.

Some of the executives committed unbelievable acts of mayhem outside of the offices of course under the influence of alcohol.  My boss defaced a priceless work of art in a 5 star hotel lobby in Asia by drawing a moustache on the portrait of  a beautiful woman.  He thought that this was fine sport.  This is why he will remain a Philistine in my mind's eye forevermore.  There was no hope for him nor the organization that continued to promote him and endorsed his service to the corporation.  On the abverse side of the coin, there was definitely no hope for me since I left the company shortly thereafter the Asia incident.  I joined a company where assholes were not hired and were routed out routinely.

 

JCT

 

Hi JCT

 

Thank you for sharing your story. I would like to think this type of behavior is isolated in the workplace but I have a feeling that the more we discuss this book the more we will hear about these people.

 

My question to you is with all the tools you have acquired in the field of conflict resolution, how would you handle your situation different? Is there steps you could of taken to change to outcome of any of these situations?

 

I am interested in reading your thoughts?

 

Lynsee

Hi Lynsee:

There is not much that I could do at the time except join the League of Distinguished Assholes.  I simply would not do this.  This was a bad boys club that drank to excess once they were away from their wives and their mundane existence.  It was as if they were liberated from their cages once we traveled overseas or to NYC or SFO.  I would never be on good terms with them because I could not accept their boorish behavior. 

With 20/20 hindsight and my adr skills, I would not be as critical of people and events as I was in my late 20s.  Now, I would laugh off their crudeness and cultivate my own garden.  I probably would not care as much and simply focus on my goals.  In a sense, I was the problem because I was too critical and judgemental of people.  I never respected people who could not hold their liquor, so perhaps I needed to be more indulgent or forgiving.  The culture was not right for me and v.v. because I could not turn a blind eye.  Sales attracts these personality types since the field is so broad and inter disciplinary.  There is a requirement to entertain customers with the easy access to booze.  The sales managers and VPs that I ran with tended to party hardy on the road.  Of course, this is not always the case;however, relationships are important in sales and customers enjoy the parties and the social time. 

RSS

@ADRHub Tweets

ADRHub is supported and maintained by the Negotiation & Conflict Resolution Program at Creighton University

Members

© 2024   Created by ADRhub.com - Creighton NCR.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service