When we are in conflict, some of us avoid coming to the point about something we think may upset the other person. The idiom beat around (or about) the bush describes the sort of prevarication when we delay or are evasive about raising difficult things. Or, it may be we act this way when we are having challenges answering a hard question.
The expression – beating around the bush - has an interesting derivation. One story says it is from bird hunting in which some of the participants roused the birds by beating the bushes - enabling other hunters to catch the quarry in nets. Essentially, beating around the bushes was the preamble to the main event – being to capture the birds. Apparently, grouse hunters and other forms of bird hunting still use beaters today.
In the conflict context we may consider a full blown argument as the ‘main event’ and beating around the bush is an effort to avoid it. As previously discussed in another ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) blog entitled Bury Your Head in the Sand, we avoid conflict for many reasons such as fears we are experiencing. This may be fear of offending the other person, retaliation, things becoming unsettled, and loss of the relationship. Alternatively, we may have in our minds that such an approach as beating around the bush may help to prevent the possibility of a full blown argument and perhaps, even soften things. Or, we may think beating around the bush will indirectly help to prepare the other person that something is amiss.
If you are beating around the bush in a situation or generally tend to do so, consider this week’s questions.
What other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you add here?
Originally posted at www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/