How many times have you been upset at your spouse, partner, child? If you’re like most of us, the number is too high to count! But, do you still love that person? If the relationship is important enough, you’ll work through it and continue to love that person long after the conflict is over.
The Huffington Post recently posted an article about these very conflicts, and it focused on spouses, called “How To Love Your Spouse, Even When You’re Angry.”
Here’s a bit from the article:
In order to learn to love even when you are angry, you need to first must learn how to be kind and direct.
You can still feel angry about the circumstances, or even frustrated about how you’re being treated, but you need to learn how to talk about what you feel in a mature, adult way instead of constantly running away from such conversations.
Take a moment and base your feelings and subsequent actions on thoughts like:
● We’re on the same team.
● I want to have his/her best interests at heart.
● I’m not going to personalize his/her every criticism of me.
● Even though I’m upset with him/her right now, I still want to stay connected to him/her in love and not shame, criticize, or judge him/her.
One of the goals of any healthy relationship ought to be learning how to love someone even when they upset you. You can still feel angry about their decisions, but a mature adult chooses to handle that anger in a constructive manner so that they can experience personal growth and see the relationship ultimately thrive.
Isn’t your relationship worth trying this approach?