We live in a pretty black-and-white world sometimes, and I’m always struggling to teach my clients how to live in the “grey” area. But, when it comes to problems, I will often use black-and-white thinking to help my clients come up with solutions.That’s where “unsolvable” vs. “solvable” thinking comes in handy. And, it’s a handy tool to use when talking about conflict resolution, too.
When a client comes to me with a list of problems (usually lengthy), I ask them to categorize them into “unsolvable” and “solvable” problems. I’m always shocked at how people (including myself) confuse the two. It’s usually a situation in which a “solvable” problem seems “unsolvable.” But, really, it’s not.
This can relate to conflicts, too. How often does a conflict seem like there’s no solution–when really, there is? Or the opposite: Some conflicts can seem solvable, but, really, they’re perpetual.
I’m a big fan of writing things down and really viewing them subjectively–and, you can do this when using this system.
It may save you time and energy–or, at the very least, give you some much needed perspective.