One of the common statements that occurs in conflict is, “that’s not fair”. It may be a response to an action that is seen – according to our sensibilities, values, and beliefs – as wrong. It may be an emotional reaction to a decision or position someone is taking on a matter with which we disagree. It may be due to a rule, policy, or procedure that we experience as oppressive, threatening, or undermining. It may be a perception that another person is being arbitrary, unthinking, obstinate, etc. It may be that someone gets or achieves something we want or believe we are entitled to have.
Fairness, like other values we develop, is a subjective experience derived from our personal conditioning, culture, and other contextual influences. As with many other values, there does not appear to be a spectrum or degrees of fairness. Rather, it seems things are perceived as either fair or unfair. I find both the interpretation of what constitutes fairness and this polarization is what often leads to conflict.
This week’s blog poses questions about the notion of fairness that may help readers deconstruct the nature of this concept and how it has an impact when it emerges for you in a conflict.
What other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you add here?
Originally posted on www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/