Globalization is making our world smaller with cross-cultural situations at the core. Even though diversity can be a powerful source for creativity, adaptability and innovation, the potential for conflict increases, requiring even more attention to how we deal with differences…

It has been a long time since I first heard the expression my way or the highway. Within the context I first heard it and ever since, I have interpreted it to mean that if someone doesn’t go along with the other’s view (position, want, need, etc.) she or he might as well just leave or go away. Consistent with this interpretation, Wiktionary suggests my way or the highway means “an ultimatum…

Whether we are aware of it or not we live in a racial world, which proposes equality, but is firmly set on hierarchy, inequality, and separation. patterns of racial dysfunction have been handed down from generation to generation. How do we transform these patterns and begin to live the connection that is part of our natural human existence?

Milagros…

Recently on the Conflict Coaching Guild on LinkedIn I asked members if they would share idioms, phrases, metaphors and other expressions on conflict that they like. There are many I had not heard of and one of those is the title of today’s blog – never cut what you can untie.

This expression was apparently coined by Joseph…

In a recent blog I spoke about the olive branch as a symbol of peace. Another symbol of peace we often think of is the white flag.

According to Wikipedia: “The white flag is an internationally recognized protective sign of truce or ceasefire, and request for negotiation. It…

As more and more teachers in the area of negotiation and dispute resolution consider taking their courses (or, parts of them) online, I’ve received many queries of the “How do you get started?” variety. And, I’m not the only one fielding these questions. I'd like to share a resource, addressing these questions.

Together with co –presenters and –authors Jennifer Parlamis (University of San Francisco), Roy Lewicki (Ohio State University) and…

When we are in an interpersonal conflict we may find ourselves reacting when the other person tries to have or succeeds at getting the last word. Or, we may be the one who is trying or succeeds in doing so. According to one source, the definition of the phrase the last word includes: “the last thing said in an argument”; “information that everyone considers to be the best”;…

A friend of mine – I’ll call him Max – recently had a disagreement with his sister, and he was agonizing to me about it and how to mend things. When he was brainstorming how to get her to talk to him Max said, “maybe I ought to go with an olive branch in hand”. I asked him how he thought that would work and he said, “It’s a goodwill gesture – a symbol of peace – and if she throws it back at me I’ll know the timing is wrong!” Max’s use of the expression inspired me to consider its derivation,…

When it comes to some interpersonal conflicts the expression let sleeping dogs lie may be used to mean “to leave things as they are; especially, to avoid restarting or rekindling an old argument; to leave disagreements in the past”. Certainly a sleeping dog is a lovely sight. But to me so are most dogs who are awake. Presumably the image of this metaphor is meant to conjure up excessive yapping and…

With the start of a new academic year, college athletes and coaches prepare for another season and often a whole new environment. They encounter new team members, the pressures of performance and a longing for home. During this program, Joshua Gordon, of the Sports Conflict…

When we accuse someone of upsetting the applecart we generally think that person is causing trouble and creating difficulties by doing or saying something that challenges the status quo. Of the four variations of the source of the expression that I read about, the most basic and generic derivation refers to farmers in the 1800s who would bring applecarts loaded with neatly piled,…

Many years ago I had a friend who made fun of certain words and expressions we commonly use. For instance, she would ask who are “they” who make up rules about what is acceptable behaviour or wise advice like, “They say don’t swim after you eat”, or “They say if you tell the truth it becomes a part of your past. If you lie it becomes part of your future”. (I am not attributing these expressions as I am not able to find their derivation. They are time-worn statements I have heard as long as I…

You will know from the ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) blogs that the series of questions usually invites readers to look at the conflict from the other person’s viewpoint, as well as their own. It is a typical approach for helping people understand the full picture of conflict situations, including their contribution to the dynamic.

The phrase stepping into someone’s shoes – the subject of this week’s blog – is commonly…

As you may know, the phrase driving a wedge between people describes the act of causing people to oppose or turn against one another – to spoil their relationship.

This expression seems to be used when referring to what a third party does that results in a schism between two (or more) others. That is, the two (or more) people may not be in conflict or there may be some tension but they are not…

I was unable to find the derivation of the expression flip your lid, but I have heard it used to describe an excessively angry reaction. In recent years I have heard the term apoplectic used when referring to extreme rage and for me, the meaning of these two expressions are similar. The visual of flip your lid however, conjures up an interesting image of the top of the head blowing open – presumably with fury propelling it. Perhaps, the expression symbolizes the emotional…

Sometimes when we are in conflict with another person we are faced with a dilemma about what we are or are not willing to say or do, or give or take, to reconcile matters. Though at some level of consciousness we want to settle things, there are times when we realize that what it may take to do so would compromise our values and needs. Or, we may have an excessive amount of antipathy towards the other person or sense that coming from them. Or, we may be worn down and despairing, have lost…

It happens in conflict that things frequently escalate in a way that results in the other person or us making things worse. The expression “jumping from the frying pan into the fire” applies here as an idiom that generally means escaping a bad situation for a worse situation. According to one source, “it was made the subject of a 15th-century fable that eventually entered the Aesopic canon”.…

Using Hurricane Katrina as a model, this speaker will discuss the phenomenology of disasters in America. Various deleterious factors can be forecast that impede effective emergency response. These factors can be better managed when one person is placed in a role to oversee and manage the crisis phase of a disaster. A Conflict Management Professional can unify the ad hoc crisis management team and ensure its accountability and engagement. Provision of a structural solution of this…

The expression “fed up” has several meanings. One source states: “To have had more than enough of something or someone, or to be bored with or tired of the same.” The same source says that the expression dates back to the early 19th century when reportedly “the languid aristocracy were compared to farm animals that were force fed to make them plump for market”.

The phrase later became part of the general…

This week’s ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) blog is not about cooking, though the title and the metaphor seems to conjure up the picture of soups and stews simmering on top of a stove. When it comes to conflict the expression – stirring the pot – is defined by one source as “to cause unrest or dissent”. It is an idiomatic way to explore what some of us do when we disagree with a decision, or it may be what we do in…