When we accuse someone of upsetting the applecart we generally think that person is causing trouble and creating difficulties by doing or saying something that challenges the status quo. Of the four variations of the source of the expression that I read about, the most basic and generic derivation refers to farmers in the 1800s who would bring applecarts loaded with neatly piled,…

A child sits alone at the lunch table while peers snicker around him. Perhaps he understands that he is being excluded and feels sad. What about the child with a disability who may or may not understand what is happening around him? Join us to learn how we can “Dis-able Bullying” and protect our vulnerable population of children with special needs.

Tara…

Many years ago I had a friend who made fun of certain words and expressions we commonly use. For instance, she would ask who are “they” who make up rules about what is acceptable behaviour or wise advice like, “They say don’t swim after you eat”, or “They say if you tell the truth it becomes a part of your past. If you lie it becomes part of your future”. (I am not attributing these expressions as I am not able to find their derivation. They are time-worn statements I have heard as long as I…

You will know from the ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) blogs that the series of questions usually invites readers to look at the conflict from the other person’s viewpoint, as well as their own. It is a typical approach for helping people understand the full picture of conflict situations, including their contribution to the dynamic.

The phrase stepping into someone’s shoes – the subject of this week’s blog – is commonly…

If you’re like me, you’ve often wondered why some apologies seem, well, insincere. Turns out, there’s real science behind the art of apologies, and researchers at The University of Miami think they’ve cracked the code, according to an article in Yahoo Health.

In the study, 356 young men and women completed questionnaires and took part in interviews about a conflict and their feelings about the person involved in the conflict. They also prepared a speech, which was filmed, and…

As you may know, the phrase driving a wedge between people describes the act of causing people to oppose or turn against one another – to spoil their relationship.

This expression seems to be used when referring to what a third party does that results in a schism between two (or more) others. That is, the two (or more) people may not be in conflict or there may be some tension but they are not…

The topic of emotional intelligence in the workplace is a evolving area of professional interest for leaders and employees alike. How do we engage the vital skills of communicating through crisis, empathy, perspective taking and self awareness just to mention a few? In 2011, the workplace continues to hold higher and higher expectations for us all. The necessity to manage countless stressors while also producing, leading, collaborating and resolve conflicts have become the…

I was unable to find the derivation of the expression flip your lid, but I have heard it used to describe an excessively angry reaction. In recent years I have heard the term apoplectic used when referring to extreme rage and for me, the meaning of these two expressions are similar. The visual of flip your lid however, conjures up an interesting image of the top of the head blowing open – presumably with fury propelling it. Perhaps, the expression symbolizes the emotional…

Managing inter-communal conflict and violence is critical to national and international security in today's world. As societies are becoming more diverse, many more countries are facing ethnic, religious, cultural and social conflicts. The globalization of such conflicts is also increasing. Join me as I speak with Mari Fitzduff, the Program Director of the Coexistence and Conflict program at The Heller School of Social Policy and Management at Brandeis…

Sometimes when we are in conflict with another person we are faced with a dilemma about what we are or are not willing to say or do, or give or take, to reconcile matters. Though at some level of consciousness we want to settle things, there are times when we realize that what it may take to do so would compromise our values and needs. Or, we may have an excessive amount of antipathy towards the other person or sense that coming from them. Or, we may be worn down and despairing, have lost…

It happens in conflict that things frequently escalate in a way that results in the other person or us making things worse. The expression “jumping from the frying pan into the fire” applies here as an idiom that generally means escaping a bad situation for a worse situation. According to one source, “it was made the subject of a 15th-century fable that eventually entered the Aesopic canon”.…

Using Hurricane Katrina as a model, this speaker will discuss the phenomenology of disasters in America. Various deleterious factors can be forecast that impede effective emergency response. These factors can be better managed when one person is placed in a role to oversee and manage the crisis phase of a disaster. A Conflict Management Professional can unify the ad hoc crisis management team and ensure its accountability and engagement. Provision of a structural solution of this…

The expression “fed up” has several meanings. One source states: “To have had more than enough of something or someone, or to be bored with or tired of the same.” The same source says that the expression dates back to the early 19th century when reportedly “the languid aristocracy were compared to farm animals that were force fed to make them plump for market”.

The phrase later became part of the general…

When to compromise and when to hold fast to our principles is one of the most difficult challenges we face when dealing with conflict. Listen in on June 24 at 8 pm Eastern as mediator, professor and author Bernie Mayer considers how these two values…

This week’s ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) blog is not about cooking, though the title and the metaphor seems to conjure up the picture of soups and stews simmering on top of a stove. When it comes to conflict the expression – stirring the pot – is defined by one source as “to cause unrest or dissent”. It is an idiomatic way to explore what some of us do when we disagree with a decision, or it may be what we do in…

We have all experienced the drama when we engage in destructive and dysfunctional conflict. It is draining, damaging and downright unhealthy. Zena Zumeta will talk with the Texas Conflict Coach, Pattie Porter to discuss her new Minibuk…

So ... it's happened. You are being drawn into a conflict. Things are going downhill and you can see the pattern - attack and counterattack. You don't want to go there. What can you do???

I found these suggestions in a book entitled "The Seven Challenges Workbook" which is a guide to cooperative communication skills. They are great to practice when you are in a conflict 'emergency.'…

As a mediation trainer for fifteen years, I must have had these words come out of my mouth thousands of times: Don’t try to fix it for them. As anyone that trains mediators knows, problem solving is such a hard habit to break when you are first starting out. You listen intently to what the parties have to say and the predicament that they find themselves in and when you…

I haven’t heard this expression – get your goat – for a while and since writing this blog I have become intrigued with such idioms. This one typically refers to the reaction when someone does something that provokes, infuriates, or annoys us. According to one source the origin is described as follows:

“The dictionary definition of goat is 'a ruminant quadruped of the genus Capra'. What's that got to do…